Wendie is right when she says that behind all the angry (even divisive) rhetoric are real people. And as a real person, I do try my best to understand why those who disagree with me think the way they do. Sometimes that leads me to be less condemnatory, sometimes more, depending usually on how much I see they've taken responsibility for their beliefs/actions. So I was musing on parallels between Fred Nile's leaving the UCA and my "leaving" (sort of) the church. And then extending that parallel to include the leaving of a marriage (which I suffered only a couple of years ago).
Firstly, I left the church (regular attendance and support thereof) because I saw that a) it was the structures of the church which enabled not only my abuse by a minister, but also the congregation's blindness to it, christians' condemnation of me disclosing the abuse, and the appalling treatment I received and still receive from the denomination. I refuse to support that kind of system. (That last sentence struck me as similar to Nile's feelings which led him out of the UCA).
Secondly, I fought for more than four years to hold my marriage together (from the time my ex first said he was thinking of leaving, until the time a disagreement escalated so far that a friend insisted one of us leave the house while things cooled down, and my subsequent realisation that what I'd been struggling to save was dead long since). The relevant part of that experience was that although I took the final decision to refuse to allow my ex to return to live in the house, I eventually came to realise that it was his choice to end the marriage, not mine.
And what I ended up concluding, when I look at that combination of eperiences, is that if those who are unhappy with Res84 choose to leave, it's because they aren't willing to stay. They may (and indeed already do) place the blame for that on those who support #84, but the real point is that it's their choice to leave rather than to remain and work out the dissension from within. I understand they may feel they can't work it out from within, just as I feel I can't change the church from within on sexual abuse issues, but - unlike many of them - I don't accuse those who remain of pushing me out.
So while my reflections leave me no more or less critical of the theological stance of those who have left or are threatening to leave, I have to admit to little (if any) sympathy for those who have or will blame their decision on those who support #84, rather than taking responsibility for their own choices.
Clare *************************************************** Clare Pascoe Henderson http://www.clergyabuseaustralia.org Clergy Sexual Abuse in Australia Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [EMAIL PROTECTED] ***************************************************
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