This is an email I wrote to my faith communtiy in South Australia after sitting at the 
SA Synod, after driving home in tears.  The
post is personal and I will not be entering debate over what I see as a part of my 
faith journey, I offer it in the hope that we can
move past the "Proceedure, Policy and Sides" discussions and into where WE are 
vulnerable, WE hurt together and WE listen together.

And where God can speak to US in a different way.

I stress I will not enter debate, discussion yes but not debate.  Question my 
theology, my faith journey, tell me I'm wrong or right
and I'll ignore the response as its not useful to me at the moment.  Ask me about my 
feelings and journey, tell me about your
feelings and journey I'll read it without any bias, with a heart and mind open and 
with the understanding that it is all
confidential.  If you post your response/story to the List and I'd expect that 
everyone else follows the same guidelines.

Up to now Ive found this discussion very wordy, bery boring and hard to get into, Ive 
also found it cluttered with male dominant
voices.  I hope this can change and that we're not arguing but discussing and 
listening,  this is a move to feeling and expressing.


-  start post now  -


I've been listening to the debates and discussions over the "sexuality" issues within 
the Uniting Church of Australia for almost a
half of my life now and it was only the other day that I realised the thing about this 
debate that hurts me more than anything else.

But first let me tell you a bit about my father.

My dad and I have a great relationship, when I was young he pulled me out of the 
Murray River as I was drowning, in the process he
lost his wedding ring, but he did re-gain me. I remember him leading kids club, being 
involved in my scout group, driving me to
synod church services, paying and encouraging me to go to Easter camps.

When the sexuality debate started about 14 years ago a youth worker I knew well came 
out and let everyone know that he was
homosexual. Instead of my dad banning me from seeing him he allowed me to make my own 
decisions, allowed me to make my own calls and
faith statements. He supported me to find my own voice, to speak out against the 
abusive language that was coming from my local
church.

When the UCA did some mean and nasty things to me and I became depressed and 
disillusioned with the church he was there, when I
started going to the tolls community he was interested, when I moved in and out of the 
family house he was always supportive.

He supported me through my theological study and for a few years we studied side by 
side, when I received recognition for my BTh he
was there receiving his Bmin.

As I've grown, he's been there supporting me. I have been shaped by the way where my 
father has been open with me, allowed me to go
on my journey and come up with my responses to things. Sometimes I sound a bit hazy 
and unsure, but it's me, and that's ok with him.

Yet on our journeys we've come to different perspectives and understandings on many 
issues, the latest and most interesting one is
the sexuality discussion.

Yet we still are family, we still eat at the same table, we still share our lives, we 
still support each other, and we still worship
the same god.

What hurts me the most out of the discussions where people are saying that "we cannot 
co-exist as a church if this resolution is not
reversed" is that what they are effectively saying to me is that my dad, my family and 
I can co-exist as a family, but it is
completely impossible for us to co-exist as a church.

And it hurts me to the bone to think that there are people that are saying that dad 
and I can exist as a family only, that next
Christmas or next year or later on in my life we will not be able to worship together, 
or in the same church because of this
sexuality and theology stuff.

It cuts me like a knife for people, including my dad to be saying that we cannot 
co-exist.

Jesus called his friends his brothers and sisters; we are called to be a family. My 
family has its problems, yet we are still a
family, I still love my father and he loves me.

Don't ever think that this is a god-caused division because its not, it's an 
institution-caused division and unfortunately it's
making me hear things like "you and your family cannot be in the same church."

To be told that it is impossible for my family and I to co-exist in the same church is 
one of the rudest things that people in the
church have EVER said to me, I find it abusive, upsetting and destructive. I reject 
everything they say because as we can co-exist
as a family for God's sake we better be able to co-exist as a church.

Now I find myself completely depressed in the idea that there are people around who 
have forgotten that we are brothers and sisters,
not evangelicals and liberals, not gay or straight, not orthodox and post-modern, not 
Jew nor gentile.

Forgotten that we are a family, and as such we do not have the ability to choose our 
brothers and sisters, that job's God's not
ours.

"People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love

Where is the love
Where is the love
Where is the love
The love, the love"
- "Where is the love?" by the Blackeyed Peas




Shalom

Darren Wright
"Give us today, the bread of tomorrow"
www.tollsonline.org

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