Hi Benjamin,

Thank you for the review. Please find my response inline as well as the
updated text:
https://github.com/mglt/draft-mglt-ipsecme-implicit-iv/blob/master/draft-ietf-ipsecme-implicit-iv.txt

We will probably publish the new version by tomorrow.

Yours,
Daniel

On Mon, Oct 14, 2019 at 7:15 PM Benjamin Kaduk via Datatracker <
[email protected]> wrote:

> Benjamin Kaduk has entered the following ballot position for
> draft-ietf-ipsecme-implicit-iv-07: Discuss
>
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> The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here:
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>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> DISCUSS:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Please address the issue raised by the secdir reviewer where AES-CTR is
> covered in the text but no codepoint allocated.
>
>
>
The current version does not cover AES-CTR. However, we provide some
explanation on CBC, so the current version explains why we are excluding
CTR. This could be also removed, if you prefer, I do not have strong
preferences.


> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> COMMENT:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Section 2
>
> nit: s/In some context/In some contexts/
>

Done

>
>    This document limits its scope to the algorithms mentioned above.
>    Other algorithms with similar properties may later be defined to use
>    this extension.
>
> I'd suggest rewording this part; the "extension" here is just the
> per-algorithm codepoint for the IIV variant of the encryption transform,
> so what would be reused is probably better described as a "mechanism" or
> similar than an "extension".
>

The following text has been replaced:
This document limits its scope to the algorithms mentioned above.
Other algorithms with similar properties may later be defined to use
similar mechanism.


>
> Section 4.
>
>    With the algorithms listed in Section 2, the 8 byte nonce MUST NOT
>    repeat.  The binding between a ESP packet and its nonce is provided
>
> I suggest s/MUST NOT repeat/MUST NOT repeat for a given key/.
> nit: s/a ESP/an ESP/
>

This has been changed accordingly.

>
> Section 4
>
>    This document solely defines the IV generation of the algorithms
>    defined in [RFC4106] for AES-GCM, [RFC4309] for AES-CCM and [RFC7634]
>    for ChaCha20-Poly1305.  Any other aspect (including using the Key
>    Length attribute) of applying those ciphers with the new Transform
>    Types defined in this document MUST be taken from the documents
>    defining the use of the algorithms in ESP.
>
> I suggest s/defines/modifies/; the whole paragraph is slightly confusing
> to read and could perhaps be reworded to something like "This document
> solely modifies the IV generation for the algorithms defined in
> [RFC4106] for AES-GCM, [RFC4309] for AES-CCM and [RFC7634] for
> ChaCha20-Poly1305.  All other aspects and parameters of those algorithms
> are unchanged, and are used as defined in their respective
> specifications."
>
> The proposed wording has been considered.


> Section 7
>
> nit: the title should be "Security Considerations" plural.
>
> I suggest to reiterate the RFC 4303 requirement for SAs to be closed or
> rekeyed before sequence numbers grow too large to fit in 32 bits (for
> "legacy" Sequence Number) or 64 bits for ESN.  This prevents sequence
> number overlaps for the mundane point-to-point case.
>
> The following text has been added:

The sender's counter and the receiver's counter MUST be reset (by
establishing a new SA and thus a new key) prior to the transmission of
the 2^32nd packet for an SA that uses a non extended Sequence Number
(respectively the 2^64nd packet for an SA that uses an Extended Sequence
Number). This prevents sequence number overlaps for the mundane
point-to-point case.



>    This document defines three new encryption transforms that use
>    implicit IV.  Unlike most encryption transforms defined to date,
>    which can be used for both ESP and IKEv2, these transforms are
>    defined for ESP only and cannot be used in IKEv2.  The reason is that
>    IKEv2 messages don't contain unique per-message value, that can be
>    used for IV generation.  The Message-ID field in IKEv2 header is
>
> nit: s/unique/a unique/
> nit: s/value,/value/
>
> Changed accordingly.

>
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