[IslamCity] A Father's Labour Of Love

[Islahonline]

From: Bint ul Islam Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 9:57 AM Subject:  *~* A Father's Labour Of Love *~*       A Dad is a person who is loving and kind, And often he knows what you have on your mind. He's someone who listens, suggests, and defends. A dad can be one of your very best friends! He's proud of your triumphs, but when things go wrong, A dad can be patient and helpful and strong In all that you do, a dad's love plays a part. There's always a place for him deep in your heart. And each year that passes, you're even more glad, More grateful and proud just to call him your dad! Thank you, Dad... for listening and caring, for giving and sharing, but, especially, for just being you!         A FATHER'S LABOUR OF LOVE A father�s sacrifice is just as big. It is the father who is the bread winner in the family; he provides money for food, clothing, shelter, education, health and other necessities for the family. Every day, without wasting time, the father has to earn and provide----- be it by using his mental faculties, or thru physical labour such as working under the scorching heat of the sun , or endangering his life by going out in the stormy seas. He goes through all these with perseverance and determination, solely for the purpose of providing the needs of the family. The father also harbors hopes for his children similar to that of the mother, which means that his children succeed in becoming useful individuals.   Source: The Ideal Muslim Family..       Title : Father does not talk to me at all and has not loved me, still respect him?     Name of Questioner: Muneer  Alaska  Question : I know that in Islam a child must respect his parents. But I would like to know that if I should respect my father based on what I am about to tell you. You see, ever since I can remember my father has not loved me. We live in the same house but it seems we do not because he does not speak to me at all.   He has never done anything for me in helping me get through life or asked if he can help. I can go on forever about his faults. So am I Islamically still obligated to respect such a man? Name of Counsellor:  IOL Counseling Team  Topic: Help me to deal with my parents Answer   We regret that you have had such an experience with your father. However, the situation is not completely lost. Since you have reached out to us for help, we want to assure you that we can help you turn your relationship around with your father. This is a much better approach than to discuss the question which you have asked about whether or not to respect your father! As long as your father does not make you do anything displeasing to Allah (Swt), respect him if nothing else but for providing you with food, clothing, and shelter. But, there are other steps you need to take to feel better about respecting your father.     First, you should know that many Muslim fathers have not really been trained in parenting. If your father is used to having many relatives around who usually take collective responsibility in raising young children, then he might not be used to playing an active role as a father. So, forgive him for that.     Second, having made the first point, you should know that no one is above receiving a reminder. Your father might never know how much pain you are feeling if you never let him know. This type of communication is usually the most difficult. However, these days, there are several ways to tell your father how you feel. Send him a card in the mail inviting him to go out to do something.     Choose an activity that both of you can do. Not an amusement park perhaps, but something like visiting a museum or some landmark in your area. Be creative. Make a nice invitation and give alternate dates/times that he can choose from. Hopefully, you can spend sometime alone with your father and help him become more comfortable spending time with you.     Third, go out of your way to give your dad regular hugs and handshakes. Just walk up to him and let him know how much you care for him. Surprise him. Reduce the physical distance and you will find that you will also reduce the emotional distance. This might be awkward at first for both of you. But over time, you will see the positive results. If you pray with your father whether at home or at the masjid, shake his hand after prayers, saying "taqabbal allah, minna wa minkum," which means, "May Allah accept from us and from you (our prayers)." Finally, make du'a to Allah (Swt) to help your father and you regain your love for each other. Keep in touch. And Allah (Swt) knows best   Source: IslamOnline.net       Posted by : Sister Bint ul Islam.       Ammatullah Rabiah Bint ul Islam *************************************************************************** {Invite (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.} (Holy Quran-16:125) {And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."} (Holy Quran-41:33) The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, if Allah guides one person by you, it is better for you than the best types of camels." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim] The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)  also said, "Whoever calls to guidance will have a reward similar to the reward of the one who follows him, without the reward of either of them being lessened at all." [Muslim, Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, at-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah] -------------------------------------------------------------------------- All views expressed herein belong to the individuals concerned and do not in any way reflect the official views of IslamCity unless sanctioned or approved otherwise. If your mailbox clogged with mails from IslamCity, you may wish to get a daily digest of emails by logging-on to http://www.yahoogroups.com to change your mail delivery settings or email the moderators at [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the title "change to daily digest". Yahoo! 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