Shafeeqah Abdullah <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Date: Tue, 2 Aug 2005 04:25:05 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: ISLAMIC GUIDANCE ON TREATING WIVES { Q & A with a scholar- fatwa}
Details of Fatwa Title of FatwaIslamic Guidance on Treating Wives Date of
Fatwa 21/ April/ 2004
Date of Reply21/ April/ 2004
Topic Of Fatwa Relationship Between Husband and Wife
Question of FatwaDear respected sheikhs, As-Salamu `alaykum. I was surprised by
the talk of some women. I know them to be God-fearing, and I hear their
husbands are righteous and pious. However, they complained greatly and
painfully about their husbands. They said that their husbands are selfish,
rude, unkind towards them and treat them as slaves. One of them said to his
wife, when she was giving him advice, A woman should never be listened to
unless she invites her husband to prayer or fasting. I know this is not the
Islamic way of treatment and mutual respect between husband and wife. What do
you have to say about this issue? Jazakum Allah khayran.
Name of MuftiDr. `Abdul-Fattah `Ashoor Content of Reply
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His
Messenger.
Dear sister in Islam, we would like to thank you for your question and the
great confidence you place in us. May Allah reward you abundantly for your
interest in knowing the teachings of Islam!
First of all, it is to be stressed that the woman is recognized by Islam as the
full and equal partner of the man in the procreation of humankind. He is the
father, she is the mother, and both are essential for life. Her role is not
less vital than his. By this partnership, she has an equal share in every
aspect. She is entitled to equal rights, she undertakes equal responsibilities,
and she has as many qualities and as much humanity as her partner.
Moreover, the relations between the spouses in Islam should be based on
tranquility, love and mercy. Allah says: "And among His Signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility
with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that
are Signs for those who reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21) And He says: Permitted to you,
on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your
garments and ye are their garments
. (Al-Baqarah: 187) Commentators on the
Quran understand this to mean that husbands and wives are for mutual support,
mutual comfort, and mutual protection.
Tranquility, love, and mercy summarize the ideals of Islamic marriage. It is
the duty of the husband and wife to see that they are a source of comfort and
tranquility for each other. They should do everything physically, emotionally
and spiritually to make each other feel happy and comfortable. They must care
for each other. They should not harm or injure each other, either physically or
verbally. In order to increase the tranquility and comfort in their relations
and in their home, they should love each other and be merciful and kind to each
other.
In his response to the question you raised, the eminent Muslim scholar Dr.
`Abdul-Fattah `Ashoor, Professor of the Exegesis of the Qur'an at Al-Azhar
University, states:
In fact, Islam has honored woman and granted her an equal status with man.
Moreover, a woman can excel a man by obeying Allah, drawing near to Him, and
perfectly fulfilling her religious duties. Here, it is worth mentioning that
the first one to believe in the message of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him) was Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (may Allah be pleased with
her). Fatimah, the daughter of Allah's Prophet, is the best of all women on
earth (in all generations). Moreover, many women have made great contributions
to Islam and Islamic history has witnessed many of women's honorable stances.
It is not permissible for the husband or any other person to treat women except
in a good and kind manner. They cannot say to them anything but only good and
kind words. A husband who treats his wife in the manner stated in the question
is contradicting Islamic teachings. Islam enjoins husbands to treat their wives
kindly. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Treat women
nicely
" and "The best amongst you, are the best for their wives, and I am the
best of you for my wives."
I would like to ask the husband referred to in the question from where he
brought the statement that a woman should never be listened to unless she
invites her husband to prayer or fasting. The Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) used to seek the counsel and advice of his wives, play with them,
travel with them, listen to their opinions, and fulfill all their rights. Here,
we can review the well-known stance of Umm Salamah, the Mother of the
Believers, when the Muslims concluded the Hudaybiyyah Peace Treaty with the
polytheists of Makkah. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered
his Companions to slaughter their sacrificial animals, but they were too
depressed to do that. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave
instructions in this regard three times but with negative response. He told his
wife Umm Salamah about this attitude of his Companions. She advised him to take
the initiative, slaughter his animal and have his head shaved. Seeing that, the
Muslims started to slaughter their animals and shave their heads. The advice
of the Mother of the Believers in this situation was very good and highly
appreciated.
We also know that many women have wise opinions and ways of conduct that lead
to much goodness in all fields of life. Therefore, I advise the husband
referred to in the question and others who behave like him to give up their
arrogance and reconsider the lack of their knowledge of the religion and to
treat their wives as full human beings. A Muslim should treat his wife with
extreme gentleness and love and seek her advice in all his affairs, as this
enables one to lead a happy and well-organized life. Almighty Allah says: "And
they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness
"
(Al-Baqaraqh: 228)
You can also read:
Husband and Wife: Mutual Rights and Obligations
A Man Should Respect His Spouse
The Status of Woman in Islam
Islam & Wife Beating (Special Folder)
Allah Almighty knows best.
http://www.islamonline.net
ABDUL WAHID OSMAN BELAL
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{Invite (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom
(i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching, and argue
with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone
astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.}
(Holy Quran-16:125)
{And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in
His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites
(men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I
am one of the Muslims."} (Holy Quran-41:33)
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, if
Allah guides one person by you, it is better for you than the best types of
camels." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said, "Whoever
calls to guidance will have a reward similar to the reward of the one who
follows him, without the reward of either of them being lessened at all."
[Muslim, Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, at-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah]
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