INTRODUCTION
In America there are many special days
set aside to honor and appreciate special people. Some of these are:
Father's Day, Mother's Day, Grandfather's Day, Grandmother's Day,
Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc. We do realize the significance of
these occasions and we recognize the ideas, ideals, and philosophies
of such days. We appreciate the efforts of those who initiated these
occasions for the recognition and appreciation of special
people.
As for the appreciation of parents, we
admire the efforts of children who remember their parents on such
occasions by sending them greeting cards and gifts. However, we hope
that the appreciation is not for one single day in a year, but for
every day throughout the year.
PARENTS IN QURAN
A child should respect and appreciate
his or her parents every day throughout the year. Allah has asked
human beings to recognize their parents after recognition of Allah
Himself. Throughout the Quran, we notice that parents are mentioned
with appreciation and with respect, even if they are senile. In
Surah Al-Isra' (Children of Israel) there is a very beautiful
description of how parents are to be treated. Allah ![]()
says:
"Your Lord had decreed, that you
worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If
one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not "Fie"
unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And
lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My
Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was
young." [Quran 17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents
is mentioned in the Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allah
reminds children to recognize and to appreciate the care and love
they have received from their parents. In the following verse, Allah
demands that children recognize their parents:
"We have enjoined on humankind
kindness to parents." [Quran 29:8 and
46:15]
1. The demand for
recognizing parents is made more emphaticly when Allah says in the
Quran:
"And (remember) when We made a
covenant with the children of Israel, (saying): worship none save
Allah (only), and be good to parents..." [Quran 2:83]
2. In Surah Al-Nisaa'
(The Women) Allah ![]()
emphasizes again
that children should be kind to their parents.
"And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as
partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents... " [Quran 4:36]
3. The same directive
is repeated again In Surah Al An'Am (The Cattle), where Allah
![]()
says:
"Say: Come, I will recite unto you
that which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you
ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good to
parents..." [Quran
6:151]
MOTHERS
Although Islam has clear directives to
honor and respect both parents, mothers are given particular
gratitude and respect. This attitude of Islam is understood if we
realize the hardships and the suffering that mothers experience in
their lives. In this regard, Prophet Muhammad ![]()
said:
It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R)
that a man came to the Prophet ![]()
and asked him, 'Who is to be close to my friendship?' The Prophet
![]()
answered:
Your mother, your mother, your
mother, then your father, then the one closest to your kinship, and
the one after.
Islam has endorsed respect for parents
by their children even if the parents are non-Muslims. Only if
parents coerce their children against Islam, then the children have
the right not to obey their parents, but they are still to be good
to them. In this regard, Allah ![]()
says in Surah Luqman:
"And We have enjoined upon man
concerning his parents--his mother beareth him in weakness upon
weakness, and his weaning is in two years--Give thanks unto Me and
unto your parents. Unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive
with you to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you
have no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the
world kindly, and follow the part of him who repents unto Me. Then
unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you used to
do.--" [Quran
31:14-15]
MORE RESPECT
Islam teaches us that respect for
parents comes immediately after praying to Allah and before Jihad (struggle and
striving in the way of Allah). In this respect, the Prophet ![]()
said the following:
Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah
bin Massoud (May Allah be pleased with him) saying: I asked the
Prophet ![]()
, "which deed is more liked by
Allah?" He replied, "Prayers on time." Then I asked,
"Which one is next?" He said, "Goodness to parents."
Then I asked, "Then which one is next?" He said, "Jihad in
the way of Allah." (Agreed)
In Islam, respect for parents is so
great that the child and his wealth are considered to be the
property of the parents. In this regard, the Prophet ![]()
said:
Narrated by Aisha that a person came to
the Prophet ![]()
to resolve his dispute with his
father regarding a loan given to the father. The Prophet ![]()
said to the person, "You and your
wealth are to your father."
FINAL REMARKS
We hope and we pray that all of us will
respect our parents while they are alive and even after they
pass-away. You may honor your parents after they die through the
following methods:
- Make daily Du'a (prayer) for
them
- Give a charity on their
behalf
- Institute a perpetual charity on
their behalf - such as a Masjid, an Islamic Center, an Islamic Library, an
Islamic hospital, an orphanage, a senior citizen's home,
etc.
- Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask
someone to do so.
- Read Quran on their behalf
- Distribute Islamic
Literature on their behalf
Let us pray to Allah that we will do
our best to respect our parents, to honor them, to be kind to them,
to help them, and to please them for the love of Allah.
O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and
make us obedient servants to you.
O Allah! Help us to be respectful
children to our parents.
Ameen
