Date: Sun, 31 Jul 2005 20:43:54 -0000
Subject: Fwd: LOVE, HONOR, OBEY?
beliefnet.com
Love, Honor, Obey?
What the Qur'an says about a wife obeying her husband.
Have an "Ask the Imam" question for Imam Sa'dullah Khan? Send mail to
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Q. I am newly married and have been told that, Islamically, I mustobey the will of my husband. Is that true?
A. Islam is a liberating religion that has uplifted the status of women and given them rights considered revolutionary 1,400 years ago. In spite of this founding spirit, Muslim practices today often oppress women and
deny them the equality and human dignity granted in the Qur'an.
When Allah mentions marriage or the relationship between husband and wife in the Qur'an, He describes it as one of love, mercy, and harmony between two human beings who have entered into a mutual contract. For example, "And among His wonders is that He created for you mates out of your own
kind, so that you may incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you; in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think" (Q 20:21). And, "It is He who has created you out of one entity, so that one might incline [with love] towards the other"
(Q 7:189).
According to the Qur'an, the relationship between a husband and wife should be one of love, mercy, and mutual understanding. Allah instructs men on how to treat their wives. "And consort with your wives in a goodly manner, for if you dislike something about them, it may be well that
you dislike something which God might yet make a source of abundant good" (Q:4:19).
The Qur'an speaks of the intimate and close relationship of the spouses in these words: "They are like garments unto you as you are like garments unto them" (Q 2:187). By using the image of garments this verse explains two basic facts. First, dress is considered one of the most fundamental needs of human beings. Second, dress covers the nakedness of human
beings, hiding those parts which are to be kept hidden. Every person has his or her weakness and frailty and does not want them to be disclosed to others.
The two sexes work together, therefore, not only to cover each other's weaknesses and frailties, but to make up for each other's deficiencies. Men are told to be generous in their treatment of women, especially when the relations between the two are strained. Surah (the chapter)
al-Baqarah refers to this in these words: "And do not forget
liberality between yourselves" (Q 2:237). Even in divorce, men are to be fair, Ma'ruf, to their wives. We read these words also in surah al-Baqarah:
"When you divorce women, and they fulfill the terms of their waiting ('iddah), either take them back honorably on equitable terms or set them free with kindness and goodness" (Q 2:229).
It is through the institution of marriage that true _expression_ is given to what the Qur'an refers to as "love and mercy" (Q 30:21) between men and women. "Be you male or female, you are members of one another" (Q 3:195), and "men and women are protectors, one of another" (Q 9:71).
The Qur'an does not order women to slavishly obey their husbands. It says good women are qanitat or have qanut (fulfill their obligations in obedience to God's commands). Qanut is used for both women and men (3:17, 3:35) and non-humans (39:9, 2:117). Qanut does not refer to the obedience
of a wife to a husband or of any human to another. It refers to the spirit of humility before Allah.
When the verse goes on to say "if they obey you," the Qur'an uses the term ta'a, which means for one human to follow the orders of another,referring not just to women obeying men but also men following the orders of women (4:59). Ta'a is not used here in the command form for women,rather the Qur'an places a firm admonishment on men. "If they [female]pay you heed [male]," the males are commanded "not to seek a way
against [the women])."
"If they obey you" does not mean women have an obligation to
slavishly obey men. Nor does it mean that if a woman disobeys, a husband can beat her. The focus is on the responsibility of men to treat women fairly,especially when women follow their suggestions.
There is also the following from the hadith--which are the records of the saying and doings of the Prophet (pbuh) and the second source of Muslim law and practice--from the Prophet on the rights of a wife:
A person asked the Messenger of Allah, "What rights does the wife of one among us have over him?" His answer was, "It is that you shall give her food, you shall not slap her on the face, nor revile her, nor leave her alone except within the house" (Ahmad, Abu Da'ud, Ibn Majah). This implies provision, residence, respect and security.
The demeanor of the Messenger (pbuh) toward women, his attitude toward conflict resolution among couples, his exemplary treatment of his wives,his practice of gender-neutral consultation, his abhorrence of violence toward women, his love for all, and his persistent efforts to
alleviate the human condition all bring us to the conclusion that he wanted to usher in dignity and equality.
--- End forwarded message ---
ABDUL WAHID OSMAN BELAL
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
***************************************************************************
{Invite (mankind, O Muhammad ) to the Way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Inspiration and the Qur'an) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.}
(Holy Quran-16:125)
{And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."} (Holy Quran-41:33)
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "By Allah, if Allah guides one person by you, it is better for you than the best types of camels." [al-Bukhaaree, Muslim]
The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) also said, "Whoever calls to guidance will have a reward similar to the reward of the one who follows him, without the reward of either of them being lessened at all."
[Muslim, Ahmad, Aboo Daawood, an-Nasaa'ee, at-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
All views expressed herein belong to the individuals concerned and do not in any way reflect the official views of IslamCity unless sanctioned or approved otherwise.
If your mailbox clogged with mails from IslamCity, you may wish to get a daily digest of emails by logging-on to http://www.yahoogroups.com to change your mail delivery settings or email the moderators at [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the title "change to daily digest".
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
- Visit your group "islamcity" on the web.
- To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
- Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
