It is a hilarian task to infuse into the young minds, who are corrupted by TV
culture, the virtues of Awrath and Islamic modesty. The only way out is to
instil into the young minds at very early ages to the blessed status and the
enormous reward bestowed by Almighty Allah, of being born as Muslims, living
as Muslims and die as Muslims.There is the option of living as a Kafir, dying
as a Kafir and earning the wrath of Almighty Allah and enter Jahannam. One is a
little bit difficult task but the reward is going to be enormous and eternal
the other is easy and the punishment is going to be unbearable and eternal.For
an example, Passing the exam in a school examination is a bit diffucult but who
wants to fail the exam is an easy task. Similarly we can explain the to cure an
ailment we got to take medicine, which is bitter and not tasty. But by taking
the medicine only we can be cured. If you do not take the medicine you suffer
and die. Once you become or want to live as Muslim
you got to forgo some of your so-called freedom for the sake of Alla's
pleasure/ commands.. That where you differ from Kafir. The process of mindset
towards Islamic teachings should be relentless ,tactful, daily and dynamic-
but must be careful to exceed the limits and end up in extremism and
confrontational with other communities- thus depriving our chances of a
peaceful co-existence and positive interaction.
[EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
Sex & the Ummah: Innocence Lost Walk into the toy store, and
youll find baby dolls dressed in clothing reminiscent of prostitutes
outfits. Walk into the clothing store, and prepubescent girls are already being
introduced to tank tops, mini skirts, and items of clothing that were once
reserved for mature women.
But hey, this is nothing new. Its been around for a while
and I think that
many of us - including myself! - have become somewhat desensitized to this.
There are times that well remember how bad it is, but what usually happens is
that we cluck over it for a bit and then get distracted by the many other
problems were facing.
Now, however, Id like to take the time to address this issue from a couple
different angles - both a psychosocial and religious point of view.
In Wendy Shalits book Girls Gone Mild, she discusses the culture of
hypersexualization: how its being promoted, through both media and
consumerism, how its permeated society, and how it has so dangerously affected
our lives and mentalities. This article (hat-tip to Nasim Choudhury) makes
similar points - the psychosocial ramifications of hypersexualized culture are
already evident and recognized even by non-Muslims.
Awareness of sexuality is occurring at a much earlier age today, and almost
always with a confused or warped understanding of it. Girls and boys are both
growing up insensitively exposed to sights and concepts about the human body
that were once discovered at a much slower rate that accommodated their level
of mental and emotional maturity.
It doesnt exist only amongst non-Muslims. Even Muslims are infected with the
disease of hypersexualization, and its effects are far-reaching. Girls who wear
hijaab still obsess over their weight and their image and try to look older
than they are
without the maturity or understanding of what older really
means.
In addition to general psychological and social effects of
hypersexualization, as Muslims there is another dimension that makes the issue
even more important for us to be aware of.
The concept of hayaa - of modesty and shyness - is one that we Muslims
should all be aware of, and prize highly, and do our best to cultivate within
ourselves. There are many different kinds of hayaa, but in this context well
deal specifically with modesty relating to our bodies.
In Islam, we have something which we call the awra: the part of our bodies
that we try to keep covered as much as possible. In general, although of course
it differs with women in respect to the hijaab and so on, the awra can be
described as what is between the navel and the knees.
Sheikh Hisham al-Awadhi mentions in his series about Children Around the
Messenger that sex education and awareness is supposed to begin at an early age
for Muslim children - starting with the understanding that there are certain
times and places that they cannot enter without permission. Hopefully this is
something that Muslim parents are implementing with their children
but then
theres another kind of sex education that must be addressed. That is, teaching
our children how to have respect and modesty regarding their own body, and
others.
Its not enough to just give kids the birds and the bees talk and to make
girls start wearing hijaab - indeed, I find that there are far too many girls
out there who wear hijaab without even fully understanding the many wisdoms
behind it, including that of respect, modesty, and self-esteem. Rather, we have
to cultivate within them an understanding that whatever they see outside,
whatever they hear from others about their bodies and self-image, there is
something far more important to keep in mind: to have taqwa not just in matters
of dos and donts but also about our attitude towards our bodies.
Respect your body and have self-confidence. Know that first of all, we dont
cover our bodies because were ashamed of it - rather, were proud of it and
respect it. Allah created us in the best of ways, with body parts that both
look good (well
mostly!) and perform neccessary functions. However, just cuz
we look good doesnt mean that we should be showing it off to the whole world!
(BTW, this goes for men also - please, no Speedos! Those dont even look good.)
I think its of especial importance to get this message across to young
girls: hijaabi or not, most girls have issues with their self-esteem and
self-image, especially in this society where so much emphasis is placed on
making oneself physically attractive. In addition to making them realize that
its whats on the inside that counts, we cant forget that its human nature
to want to be beautiful - in the same series, Hesham al-Awadhi reminds parents
to make their daughters feel good by complimenting her on her beauty inside the
house. Notice when shes wearing a new outfit, tell her how the colour looks
great with her eyes, how lovely she is, etc. In this way, by knowing that
others - who are allowed to see her beauty(i.e. her mahaarim) - think shes
beautiful, therell be less of a need for her to desire others approval of her
attractiveness.
Respect others bodies. Whether its a kaafir or a Muslim, a man or a woman,
covered or naked
have respect and shyness for their bodies. Dont look at
whats not permissable to look at; dont behave in a manner thats contrary to
the entire concept of hayaa. Lower your gaze and have good manners. Far too
often have I seen hijaabi girls giggling over a model, actor, or even a brother
at a community function; similarly, stories about men ogling hijaabis or
drooling over non-Muslim women disgust me because thats NOT how a Muslim is
supposed to act at any time, towards anyone.
Just as girls need a bit of help with the first point, I think parents need
to spend more time teaching boys about the second. Part of chivalry is to have
respect for women and treat them decently no matter how theyre dressed - to
truly lower the gaze and behave as the Prophet (sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam)
did towards women. It needs to start when theyre young, and reinforced as
preteens and young teens, so that it will stick with them as adult men who have
to deal with women in many different kinds of situations. An example of this
are my brothers - although theyre only 12 and 13, they feel shy whenever they
pass by a woman (or a picture of a woman) who is indecently dressed. Theyll
make a point of averting their gaze, but still treat whoever it is with respect
by speaking politely. Sadly, there arent many kids like that these days - may
Allah them and keep them strong upon Islam, ameen!
Another problem that I know many parents struggle with is trying to teach
their kids that the pictures of half-naked men and women on advertisements,
billboards, TV, etc. are not acceptable Islamically. I believe that this issue
is related to the point above: having respect for other peoples bodies. A
somewhat uncomfortable question that younger kids might bring up (usually at
most inopportune moments!) is something along the lines of, Mama, why is that
lady not wearing any clothes? or Baba, why is that man in his underwear?
This is when, instead of cringing or hissing at them to be quiet or ignoring
them, you explain to them about how there are many people who dont protect
their bodies the way we do. InshaAllah, if you handle it the right way open,
matter-of-factly, but pressing the concept of hayaa your children will grow
up knowing that while the human body isnt something to be ashamed of, it IS
something to be cared for, protected, and respected.
Innocence is an endangered species. Instead of ignoring the repercussions of
the situation, complaining about it, and not doing anything about it, we have
to be proactive in dealing with it. Recognize how it affects our children, and
take the necessary measures to address it in an Islamic and psychologically
healthy manner.
May Allah protect us all from the fitnah, fasaad, and faahishah that is all
around us, ameen!
http://muslimmatters.org/2008/04/07/innocence-lost/
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