Separate Residences for Wife and Parents
By Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Posted: 19 Sha'ban 1423, 26 October 2002
Q.) As part of my marriage contract a request for separate residence from the
in-laws was made, as they are blessed with enough wealth and to avoid any
family conflict and also to help me maintain my hijab without difficulty. This
was agreed to both by my husband and his family. We have maintained and enjoyed
a great relationship with the parents and go over to care for them and tend to
their needs as much as possible (more so than other family members living with
them). They are not old and are still very much in good health. Now after some
time my husband and his family have decided the parents are to move in with us
without consulting me and have now disregarded the promise in my marriage
contract.
My question is, 1) Is there any regard for such a promise? 2) What is the
consequence of breaking such a promise? 3) Does this mean that this would give
me the right to dissolve this marriage, which I would not and they know I would
not (knowing this they are breaking the promise) 4) By Shariah am I entitled to
a compensation? [A sister]
A.) It is the sole responsibility of the husband to provide shelter for the
wife. The shelter must be totally separated, in that none of the family members
of the husband should be living in the same quarters. (Hidaaya vol.1 pg.421)
However, if the wife happily accepts to live with the husband's family members,
then she has given up her own right. Nevertheless, in the above mentioned case,
there was no need to make such a promise since it was your right from the
beginning to be separate.
However, you must also look at it from a moral point of view.
If there is nobody else to take care of the husband's parents and to see to
their needs, etc. then there must be understanding between you and your
husband. However, if there are no valid Shar'ee reasons for them to move in and
live with you, then your husband will not only be sinful for breaking a promise
but even more severely for failing in his duty to fulfill your rights. This
does not mean that you now have the right to dissolve the marriage or to take
the issue to court whereby you may demand a compensation. No, the matter
requires understanding and wisdom. Find out the reasons for the move. Maybe
there is a serious need for it, maybe not. If not, try to sit down in seclusion
with your husband and explain to him your situation. Build courage and
confidence and don't give up. Allah Ta'ala will open up the way for you. And
Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
