--- On Thu, 19/2/09, S A Hannan <sahan...@sonarbangladesh.com> wrote:
From: S A Hannan <sahan...@sonarbangladesh.com>
Subject:
To: "Date: Thursday, 19 February, 2009, 8:54 PM
Subject: Marriage in the West and Islamic law: Which Is helpful for young girls
and boys
Marriage in the West and Islamic law: Which Is helpful for young girls and boys
?
Shah Abdul Hannan
On the above subject I had discussion with some people who know this
issue well.. In conversation with them, it came out that western girls are in
serious dis-advantage compared to Muslim girls in the Muslim countries in the
matter of selection of spouses.. In most cases this responsibility of marriage
of children is not taken by parents or senior relations by culture that has
developed there in the West over a hundred years. It was not so before, it is a
development in the twentieth century.The dating system has thrown the girls
in serious dis-advantage. Without any hope of stable relation,in dating
usually the boys want to physically exploit the girls and in emotional
circumstances and in most cases she has to succumb( if she has to find a
husband), it is the boys who are mostly responsible for this pre-marital
adultery .This goes on and on till a partner is found. It makes girls a
commodity of sort which is so de- meaning
for the girls and the community, whether they realize it or not. Further,
even after marriage in such conditions, the promiscuous behavior remains
ingrained. Only marriage arranged by parents or relations with consent of the
girl or boy is the solution as has been prescribed by Islam I It has given the
seniors in the family, particularly the parents, to try to find out proper
partner for the boy/girl (Sura Nur, verse 32 ) though there is no problem if
the boy or girl choose their partner in the course of normal social
interaction and suggest parents their choice and the parents accept their
choice unless it is too bad and injurious for the girl or boy or family
A senior woman Islamic scholar pointed out to me that in Muslim societies now
a days, more and more boys and girls are making efforts to choose their own
partners. However, after they decide that they want to get married, they place
that proposal to their parents. Marriage takes place after the parents give
consent.So the marriage is actually taking place with the consent of the
parents.. She thinks Islam has no problem with that as long as the boy/girl
maintain Islamic etiquette. In few cases, the parents do not give Consent and
that’s when the problem arises. In these cases, both side should talk openly
and try to reach a consensus. She thinks it beneficial for the future partners
to talk/discuss before they get married to make sure they are compatible to
each other. There is no Islamic prohibition to having discussion with
potential life partner before marriage. Especially this is very important for
socially active Muslim women as most of
the time they find them in a marriage where the husband is not co-operative to
their Islamic work. The husband can be very pious but not open enough towards
Islamic work.
I feel she is right in some cases in advanced Muslim societies but not in most
cases.
I have no disagreement in essence with her .Only point is that the present
western system is seriously demeaning and disgraceful for girls, it makes them
a commodity. We should not do anything which will in effect destroy Islam's
wise and harm-free system which is helpful in better selection, protection
from emotion, protection from lust and harmony in the family .Clearly in Islam
it has been made incumbent on guardians and /or parents to find out their life
partner. This is very important. Of course, the Prophet has encouraged boys and
girls to see their future life-partner and this should be done in an
appropriate Islamic manner.The basic issues in this matter are consent of the
boy and the girl, consent of the parents/guardians and avoid anything which
leads to adultery and promiscuity.( any one can see the Islamic Teaching
Course by Dr.Jamal Badawi , G-- series )
I strongly feel that If the West has to get rid of promiscuous relations,
restoration of sanctity of marriage, restoration of fidelity and confidence in
family and husband-wife relationship, they will have to give up the present
dis-honorable dating system and go back to their own Christian/ Jewish
values or adopt Islamic teachings in this regard
This is a subject we should continuously pursue to save the West and the world
from the debauchery , promiscuousness and indignity the society faces,
particularly the girls We have to relentlessly write and mobilize to save all
from this scourge.
17.2.09
.
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