Date: Tuesday, March 17, 2009, 11:44 PM
15 Tips to Raising Great Children
Children are easily influenced by their surroundings. These days, it is
extremely difficult to expose our children to an ideal Islamic environment
given the influences from media, friends and even other members of the family.
With television, radio, Internet and forms of media mostly touting un-Islamic
values, it is up to parents and adults close to the children to set the correct
example.
It is impossible to shield our children from all the negative forces that can
shape their minds and, ultimately, their behavior.
However, by our own example and showing them better options, we can set them on
the true path, which is to obey the commandments of Allah (swt) and our Prophet
(may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him).
Here are some tips you may want to follow in helping your children grow up with
Islamic values.
Start by teaching them the importance of Worshipping only Allah: The best thing
any Muslim parent could ever teach their children is to emphasize, from the day
they can comprehend, that Allah (swt) is One and no one is worthy of worship
except Allah (swt). This is the fundamental message of our Prophet (may Allah's
peace and blessings be upon him) and it is our key to Paradise.
Treat them kindly: Kindness begets kindness. If we were kind to our children,
they in turn would show kindness to others. Our Prophet (may Allah's peace and
blessings be upon him) was the best example in being kind to children.
Teach them examples: Here are some tips you may want to follow in helping your
children grow up with Islamic values of Muslim heroes: Instead of Batman or
Superman, tell them about real heroes such as Abu Bakr, Umar ibn Khattab,
Othman bin Affan, Ali bin Abi Talib and others. Tell them how Muslim leaders
brought a real peaceful change in the world and won the hearts of Muslims and
non-Muslims alike.
Let children sit with adults: It is preferable for children to be among adults,
especially when listening to Islamic lectures. The Prophet (may Allah's peace
and blessings be upon him) would often put children in the front row when he
spoke to the people.
Make them feel important: Consult them in family matters. Let them feel they
are important members of the family and have a part to play in the growth and
well being of the family.
Go out as a family: Take family trips rather than allowing your children to
always go out only with their friends. Let your children be around family and
friends from whom you want them to pick up their values. Always remember that
your children will become who they are around with most of the time. So, watch
their company and above all give them YOUR company.
Praise them: Praise is a powerful tool with children, especially in front of
others. Children feel a sense of pride when their parents' praise them and will
be keen to perform other good deeds. However, praise must be limited to Islamic
deeds and deeds of moral value.
Avoid humiliation: Similarly, do not humiliate them in front of others.
Children make mistakes. Sometimes, these mistakes occur in their efforts to
please the parents. If you are unhappy with your children, tell them in private.
Sports: The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged
sports such as swimming, running and horse riding. Other sports that build
character and physical strength are also recommended, as long as the children
maintain their Islamic identity, wear appropriate clothes and do not engage in
unnecessary mixing.
Responsibility: Have faith in their abilities to perform tasks. Give them
chores to do in line with their age. Convince them that they are performing an
important function and you will find them eager to help you out again.
Don't spoil them: Children are easily spoiled. If they receive everything they
ask for, they will expect you to oblige on every occasion. Be wise in what you
buy for them. Avoid extravagance and unnecessary luxuries.. Take them to an
orphanage or poor area of your city once in a while so they can see how
privileged they are.
Don't be friends: It is common in the West for parents to consider their
children as friends. In Islam, it doesn't work that way. If you have ever heard
how friends talk to each other, then you will know that this is not how a
parent-child relationship should be. You are the parents, and they should
respect you, and this is what you should be teaching them. The friendship part
should be limited to you and them keeping an open dialog so they can share
their concerns with you and ask you questions when they have any.
Pray with them: Involve them in acts of worship. When they are young, let them
see you in act of salaah (salat). Soon, they would be trying to imitate you.
Wake them up for Fajr and pray as a family. Talk to them about the rewards of
salaah so that it doesn't feel like a burden to them.
Emphasize halaal: It is not always good to say "this is haraam, that is
haraam". While you must educate them on haraam things, Islam is full [has lots]
of halaal and tell your children to thank Allah (swt) for the bounties He has
bestowed on them- not just for food and clothes. Tell them to be thankful for
having eyes that see, ears that hear, arms and legs and, the ultimate blessing,
Islam in their hearts.
Set an example: As parents, you are the best example the children can have. If
you talk to your parents rudely, expect your children to do the same to you. If
you are disrespectful to others, your children will follow too. Islam is filled
with Divine advice on the best ways to bring up your children. That makes it an
obligation upon parents to be good Muslims so their children will try to
emulate them. If you don't take Islam seriously, neither will your children. It
goes back to our third point, which is to give them Islamic heroes. As a
parent, you should be their number one hero.
Wassalam,
Al Huda Institute, Canada
www.alhudainstitute .ca
www.alhudapk. com
www.farhathashmi. com
