Where do I begin? How do I say "thank you"?
My heart has wept as I have read each and every one of the lists to this group. I came home on Christmas Eve, much to my doctor's dismay... But I had to be home for Christmas Eve and the big day. So home I came... to find all of you... Keeping my home fires burning... and keeping me safe in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you doesn't even come close to what I want and need to say.. To say that you are all my family, doesn't get the point across. To say "I love you, too" looks like just types words. But all of the above are true. Don faithfully brought all of your emails to me... and even though I was unconscious.. I can now personally explain the mystery... YES, you can hear when you are in a coma... and cry, and love... but time is no longer linear. Your spirit filled good wishes were heard, my Dear Friends... I heard them, Our Father heard them... And here I am! I attached an email that I wrote not long before I was hospitalized... detailing how I would take care of my health when I deemed it time... The best intentions... :) But my body decided for me... and so it began. But all of you were there with me... in thought, prayer and spirit. I would not have made it, I truly believe, if not for the overwhelming show of support that you presented. I can't write too much... I'm very tired and weak.. and just this was really taken it out of me... But I just wanted to say that I'm here... and here I shall stay... My love and best for all of my litter mates, at this time, and forever. As Always, Nancy Lee -----Original Message----- From: Nancy Lee Dibert [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 7:42 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: RE: [JFC]: Nancy Lee My Dearest Julie... Thank you for asking about ME! I'm holding on.. I think that would best describe my current state of mind/body/spirit I was supposed to have had major intestinal surgery in October for my Chron's disease... but I declined at the last minute because, in all honesty, I just didn't have TIME for it! I could not justify to my obsessive/compulsive brain that having an intestinal blockage removed, a partial hysterectomy, surgical repair for rectoseal caused by the Chron's (the reason to have to have a hysterectomy) and a 6 month colostomy were worth losing 2 weeks of work. On top of that... I have a new blood clot in my left leg, and to have the surgery, I'd have to be off my blood thinners for a while... and that is risky right now. And that I really can't stand the surgeon... So I'm playing Russian Roulette with my body right now. My parents are on me about it daily. DH has finally just accepted the fact that I'll get it taken care of when I choose to... not when some over-dramatic, knife wielding doctor says it's time. (Do you get that I really don't like doctors?) Add into this equation that my agoraphobia has reached an all time high, and just the thought of being hospitalized makes me nauseous. It's hard to imagine what I have done without ever leaving my home! Emotionally wise... there are a few rough spots in my life right now. I'm dealing with past issues of abuse that have caught up to me again. I stopped seeing my therapists because I just couldn't get to their offices and because having to actually go into details about certain things that are happening in my life was just way too difficult. DH shared with me that he thinks that I am working myself into the ground to escape the pain and discomfort of my emotions. Dare I say that I believe him to be correct? Yes, I do... but you do what you have to do in this world... and for me, my self preservation has taken me to spend my time enveloped in my work... it keeps my mind busy. Spiritually -- I'm doing well! I have made the conscious decision to always make time to spend in prayer. It's one of the things that keeps me grounded, and keeps me -- ME! I believe that one cannot spend too much time with The Lord. So despite my letting other things fall down, my Faith has sustained me. Last week I forgot to drink anything one day, dehydrated... and came down with a full blown urinary tract infection... but I did remember to spend time with The Lord! :) I know how twisted that sounds... not remembering to drink all day... but it actually happens. I have to schedule in potty breaks sometimes! OK-- so now you know much more than you wanted to! :) In all honesty, with all that I face on a daily basis... I'm doing pretty damn good. Despite what my critics and doctors might say... I'm surviving, and actually enjoying my days for the most part. I lead a pretty exciting life... unusual, yes... and not one that I would recommend to anyone... but it works for me. My next goal is to figure out how to fit more hours in a day... a solution that I know Louise has been searching for as well. :) I never seem to be caught up with anything. As soon as I get something under complete control, something else turns critical... but it sure does keep me busy! Julie, thank you again for asking about me... it has made me remind myself that all of this is by my own choice -- no one made me get into any of this... and I have no one to blame... and no one that I have to share the credit with, either. I'm living ~my~ life... by my design, with all of its good and bad. Yes, there are some things that have to change... and some things are out of my control... but all in all, I'm reaping what I sow... and I really enjoy the sowing part. :) As Always, Nancy Lee Access WebWorks. . . Access The World! http://www.accesswebworks.com Full Service Web Site Hosting For $6.95 Per Month! -----Original Message----- From: Julie [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] Sent: Wednesday, December 05, 2001 6:03 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [JFC]: Nancy Lee Nancy, Way to go!! I have been thinking about you, wondering how you have been doing with all that you have going on. Once again your ta-da lists are incredible. But how are YOU doing? Julie *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Journey from clutter List Website http://journeyfromclutter.com Members Only Page http://journeyfromclutter.com/MembersOnly/MembersArea.htm Unsubscribe: email [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the word 'unsubscribe' in the 'Subject:' field *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Journey from clutter List Website http://journeyfromclutter.com Members Only Page http://journeyfromclutter.com/MembersOnly/MembersArea.htm Unsubscribe: email [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the word 'unsubscribe' in the 'Subject:' field to be removed from the main list. To Unsubscribe from the Digest version of the list send the unsubscribe message to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
