Maria,
The new job is a great time to get everyone else involved. I am a single parent, also work outside the home (am lucky enough to have very flexible hours, just a lot of them) and run a pretty tight ship with the kids at home. 12 and 15 yo. (One is even home schooling this year because he's an actor. That's the really hard part, getting him back and forth to Boston and New York, next to that homeschool is cake. . .)
I think what helped the most was to realize that I always had to ask. DD can look across a mess and absolutely not see it, and DS too! If I asked them to put dishes away, I would have to ask the next day and the next. They don't work without reminders. When I stopped expecting them to, and stopped get mad every time I had to ask, which was everytime, they became far more cooperative. I keep reminding them, and they pick up or do whatever chores need to be done. Usually we all do this together. If I'm scrubbing pots, they're loading the dishwasher or swiffering the floor.
I also made a family contract that they could keep their rooms in whatever state they desired until Saturday (weekly room clean up) but that the public rooms we share be picked up. Seems to work, if they're resistant to actually putting away stuff, they load it into their room and deal with it at weeks end.
Finally, and probably the most important - we limit the amount of 'stuff'. When I divorced, I realized I could spend money on stuff or on experiences (but not both). Everytime they want a 'thing' (less of problem now, that they're older) I remind them that the cost of the expensive shoes or cd will have to come out of the travel budget, or they can have that instead of this week's voice lesson.
You know your family best, whatever motivates them, use it! Good luck with the new job YOU CAN DO IT!!!
blessings
rebecca
