----- Original Message -----
From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>

>  If I'm at work I need to get home to the kids,
> if I'm at home because the kids need something then I should be at work.
If
> I'm off with the kids I should be home accomplishing something, but if I'm
> home working I should be spending time with the kids

Oh my gosh, Diane!  Get out of my head!  This is exactly how I feel most of
the time.  And don't forget the "should take time for myself" and feeling
guilty about actually doing that.  (Who here has NOT felt guilty about
taking a nice long bath, because you were thinking about either the kids
running around loose, or that you'd have to clean the tub when you got
out???)  It's a definite struggle.

One thing I've tried to do is to expand my perspective, if I can slow down
enough to do it.  If I look at my life from the perspective of what I do
during the course of one day, it never seems like I've spent my time
wisely - I've worked too much and not spent enough time with my daughter, or
I've cleaned too much and not spent enough time taking care of myself
(exercising, cooking good food, etc.) or I've spent too much time relaxing
and my house has become a disaster again.  But, if I look at my life from
the perspective of a week's time, or a month's time, or even longer, than I
can see more of a balance.  If over the course of the month, I've managed to
keep the house relatively nice, even though certain days or weeks were bad,
than I feel better about my efforts.  If over the course of the summer, I
feel like I spent enough time lazing by the pool with my daughter, even
though there may have been many days when we didn't go out of the house at
all or were at each others' throats all day long, than it seems like I've
done a good job overall.

Anyway, I'm not saying that I'm good at this.  It's just something I try to
remember when I'm feeling overwhelmed by all that life is throwing at me.

Pam.

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