In a message dated 5/17/02 12:30:09 PM, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

<< I had to weigh in on this.  I'm a fairly liberal person and love my 
children 
past what is reasonable, but I run a pretty tight ship around here.  I may 
have said this before, but when my kids were indulged darlings in our yuppie 
household (we even added on a 'toy room' - now I would just get rid of some 
of the toys) there were tantrums and pouts and bad grades and even worse 
behavior in public.  No one was happy - I kept using toys as a reward, tv 
time as a reward food as a reward, or bribes to get stuff done. . .

Now we have a lot less of everything - time, money, tv is gone with a bunch 
of other 'entertainment stuff' and treats, but we are so much happier.  My 
kids have developed some life skills in caring for themselves and their 
environment, a strong work ethic which shows up in school, personal 
resilience when their every little whim is not gratified and close 
relationships with each other because they've learned to depend on each other 
and on themselves.

Hang in there, it's so worth it.  The early days when life began to turn 
around here were pretty rocky, but it got easier as they began to 'get' it.  
Just keep a sense of humor and remember that the first job of parenting is to 
produce  self suficient adults capable of finding happiness.   

blessings,
rebecca >>

rebecca -

Amen to all of that! Your household sounds quite a bit like mine - both the 
before and the after... and your description ofyour kids sounds alot like 
mine.

My children are the treasures of my life, and I too am fairly liberal, but I 
no longer *spoil* them with "things" the way I used to. I think some friends 
feel I'm quite tough to run things the way I do, but it works. They help 
around the house (without complaining), get good grades, are active in 
sports, get along with everyone, take care of me and each other and they are 
fairly happy. 

During a recent car ride, my younger son (10) mentioned a friend who is 
spoiled with "stuff" - 3 wheelers, big house, etc. and I replied that while 
we don't have as many things as some people, no one is more spoiled with 
love, time & attention than he is... he smiled and agreed and blew me a kiss. 
I think he know's what is really important.

Diane

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