_________________________________________________ Taoism: Shit happens Hinduism: This shit happened before Confucianism: Confucius say: Shit happens Buddhism: It is only an illusion of shit happening Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock: Shit happens Atheism: There is no such thing as shit Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, and maybe it doesn't Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me? Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you Blackism: Motherfuck all this shit _________________________________________________ Fuck you Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "Fuck". It is one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (John fucked). It can be an active verb (John really gives a fuck) or a passive verb (John was fucked by Mary), or an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), and a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you can see, there are a very few words with the versatility of "Fuck". Besides its sexual connotation, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations: Greetings: "How the fuck are you?" Fraud: "I got fucked by the car dealer." Dismay: "Oh, fuck it!" Trouble: "Well, I guess I'm fucked now." Aggression: "Fuck you!" Disgust: "Fuck me." Confusion: "What the fuck...?" Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking business." Despair: "Fucked again." Incompetence: "He fucks up everything." Displeasure: "What the fuck is going on here?" Lost: "Where the fuck are we?" Disbelief: "Unfuckingbelievable!" Retaliation: "Up your fucking ass!" Confused Aggression: "How the fuck should I know?" It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a fucking asshole." It can be used to tell time - "It's five fucking thirty." It can be used in business - "How did I wind up with this fucking job?" It can be used to command silence - "Shut the fuck up!" It can be maternal - "You Motherfucker." It can be political - "Fuck Tip O'Neill!" And never forget General Custer's last words: "Where did all them fucking Indians come from?" Also, the famous last words of the Mayor of Hiroshima: "What the fuck was that?" And, last but not least, the immortal words of the Captain of the Titanic who said: "Where is all this fucking water coming from?" The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word! How can anyone be offended when you say "Fuck"? Use it frequently in your daily speech; it will add to you prestige. Today....say to someone: "Fuck you" :-)))
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