An amusing extract from Monday's London Evening Standard:

A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed
for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police
after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier,
called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Highgate,North
London.

Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because
they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got
closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours
and the dog was straddling him from behind.

"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to
him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by
what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was
arrested as he walked with the dog down the road. Hoyle, of Finchley Road,
Highgate, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to
rape me." He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added "The
dog pulled my trousers down."

Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12
months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.
His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his
drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.

Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my
time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody
who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public
highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely
disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness."

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