> >Subject: FW: Management Lessons > >Date: Wed, 12 Sep 2001 14:01:01 +0200 > > > >This might be some advice in your future careers. > > > >Lesson Number One > > > >A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit > >saw the crow, and asked him, > >"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" > >The crow answered: > >"Sure, why not." > >So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a > >sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > > > >Management Lesson: > >To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting > >very, very high up. > > > > > >Lesson Number Two: > >A turkey was chatting with a bull." I would love to be able to get to > >the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy. > >"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the > >bull. > >"They're packed with nutrients." > >The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him > >enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, > >after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally > >after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. > >Soon > >he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. > > > >Management Lesson: > >Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. > > > >Lesson Number Three: > > > >When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The > >brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses > >and functions." > > > >The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get > >him to where he wants to go." > >The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and > >earn all the money." And so it went on and on with > >the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. > >All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being > >the boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused > >to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, > >the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain > >fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the > >boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while > >the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! > > > >Management Lesson: > >You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do. > > > >Lesson Number Four: > >A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird > >froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying > >there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay > >there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise > >how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there > >all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the > >bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat > >discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him > >out and ate him. > > > >Management Lessons: > >1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. > >2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. > >3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= * PLEASE do not post offensive jokes * List info and instructions are available at http://harbinger.sirma.bg/lists/jokes.html =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
