> ---------------------------------------------------------
> 1.Never walk without a document in your hands
> People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees
> heading for important meetings.  People with nothing in their hand
> look like they're heading to the cafeteria.  People with a newspaper
> in their hands look like they're heading for the toilet.  Above all,
> make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus
> generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you
> do.
> 2.Use computers to look busy
> Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual
> observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally
> have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.  These
> aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the
> computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad
> either.  When you get caught by your boss  - and you *will* get caught
> -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use
> software, thus saving valuable training pounds.
> 3.Messy Desk
> Top management can get away with a clean desk.  For the rest of us, it
> looks like we're not working hard enough.  Build a large pile of
> documents around your workspace.  To the observer, last year's work
> looks the same as today's work; it's the volume that counts.  Pile
> them high and wide.
> If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document that
> you need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when
> he/she arrives.
> 4.Voice Mail
> Never answer your phone if you have voice mail.  People don't call you
> just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call
> because they want YOU to do work for THEM.  That's no way to live.
> Screen all your calls through voice mail.  If somebody leaves a voice
> mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during
> lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're
> hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious
> weasel.
> 5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
> According to George Contanza, one should always try to look impatient
> and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always
> busy.
> 6. Leave the office late
> Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still
> around.  You could read magazines and storybooks that you always
> wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving.  Make sure
> you walk past the boss' room on your way out.  Send important  e-mails
> at unearthly hours (e.g. 9.35pm, 7.05am, etc) and during pubic
> holidays
> 7. Creative Sighing for Effect
> Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression
> that you are under extreme pressure.
> 8. Stacking Strategy
> It is not enough to pile lots of documents on table.  Put lots of
> books on the floor etc. (thick computer annuals are the best).
> 9. Building Vocabulary
> Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
> products.  Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses.
> Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure
> sound impressive.
> DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
> -------------------------------------------------------

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