Dear Billy joe Bob,

I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live
where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most
accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be
able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took
the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it
works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the
chain, we haven't seen it since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time
for three days and the second time for fourdays.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too
heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put
them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because
it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning,but I haven't found out what it is yet
so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull
him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned
for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was
driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the
tailgate down.

Your Favorite Aunt

PS I included a Picture of our new swimming pool with Uncle Bubba in it! I
hope you like it.

<<attachment: redneck_swimming_pool.jpg>>

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