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"The only thing worse than being incompetent is not knowing you are." "Good luck is the result of good planning."
"Beauty fades, dumb is forever." "There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he
doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he
loves you." "These days many movies are rated as containing Graphic Violence and
Brief Nudity--I much prefer Brief Violence and Graphic Nudity!"
"I didn't think it was possible, but this both sucks and blows." --Bart Simpson, watching a school faculty talent show "It pains me when someone murders his wife and kids, and then kills himself. Hey, do us all a favor and shoot yourself first!" "If you want to know someone's true personality, just watch them drive." "When you talk to God it's called prayer; when God talks to you it's called schizophrenia." "I don't know the secret of success, but the secret of failure is to try to please everybody." "When two friends fight nobody wins." "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." "Simple minds are satisfied by simplistic explanations." "As a cynic I generally expect the worst. I'm rarely disappointed." "If the government was really serious about preventing people from drinking and then driving, they wouldn't allow bars to have parking lots." "If an animal mauls a kid, chances are the animal will be destroyed. It's really too bad the same law doesn't apply to a kid that tortures an animal."-- "The most difficult and unpleasant jobs always seem to pay the least salary." "If you think seatbelts are confining, you should try a wheelchair." (confining - ограничаващ, бел. ред. :-) "If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?" |
