Emily, thank you for writing this. New York is the city of my youth. I grew
up in NJ but went into NYC almost every weekend when I was old enough to do
so. All of my cousins used to work at the WTC. New York is in my soul, even
though I live far far away these days, I still love NYC so much. Everytime I
am there, I just want to walk walk walk around the whole entire city & soak
it in!

So my heart grieves to hear these stories, yet I am so touched by the
wonderful stories that have come out of all this horror. My husband Jeff
also has strong ties to NYC. He worked there for many years. We have talked
about how much we want to visit & spend our tourist dollars to help out. So
next vacation, this may be where we spend it....

>>i'd like to contribute more now -- because this community
has been so important to me in the past two weeks.  even
more so than the past two years i've been a JMDL member!

i live in new york city, in brooklyn.  we live about ten
blocks from where i was born, in fact.  "brooklyn born"--
such a cry of pride for me.  from my apartment to where
the world trade center stood is about a mile and a half.
i used to see it out my window.  even now, when i look
over that view, i keep thinking to myself that it must
be cloudy or something, that's why it's not there.  that's
not why it's not there.

i heard and felt the explosions on 9/11 and lived for
three hours in total fear of the thick smoke that enveloped
my block quickly.  and the ash that settled over the cars
on the street, and the papers that blew down like a snowstorm,
each charred on the edges.  they whipped through the street
and then were gone -- like some kind of hallucinatory plague.

but that's not what i wanted to write about.  nor is this:
when the wind changes, i can still smell the burning.
other new yorkers, you know that smell i mean, right? it
is a wonder we walk around with that smell in the air--
my city, still smoldering.  nor is this of interest: that
i can't sleep through the night, that my stomach is all
out of wack and clenched through most of the day, that
subway rides are a mental test like none i've experienced.
that each sound makes me jump.  me, a new yorker!  someone
who loves the jangle and crash and screech of sounds in
this messy and gorgeous city.

it's such a different city now.

one thing i DID want to write about: last week one night
courtney and i walked over to a local bar because we'd
seen a poster that said all its proceeds would go to
firemen and women, police officers, and the families who
lost them.  when we saw the bar, it had literally overflowed
onto the street, hundreds of people, neighbors, all ages,
even kids who were drinking sodas -- all out to spend
money for this cause.  i saw people buy one drink and give
$20 -- every single dollar going into a huge jar for the
fund.  the crazed bartenders REFUSED TO TAKE TIPS, although
we tried, saying they wanted to donate their time.  (as
an exbartender myself, this made a major impression!)  but
here's the best part: our firefighters and police officers
were there.  some in uniform, some out (some even on duty
who got coffee and sat in their cars to watch).  they were
just overcome by seeing this show of support.  they were
treated like heroes!  they were laughing, crying sometimes,
getting slapped on the back.  they had their drinks passed
to them by many, many grateful people who kept saying thank
you to them.  it was like a block party, but with the biggest
heart you can imagine.  it was like magic.  there was talk
of war, yeah, but there was mainly just love in the air.
and the smell of spilled beer.  and laughter.  and music
from the jukebox.

as we walked out, we said goodnight to officers and firefighters,
who smiled and raised their glasses to us.  around the corner
was a firetruck, with a firefighter in uniform standing next
to it.  we walked right up to him and i told him that we came
out that night to support him and his coworkers and that i
was proud to get a chance to say thank you in person.  thank
you for HIS work.  for doing HIS job in my city.  he nodded,
and smiled, and said thank you back to us.

so then i walked home, through one of those early fall brooklyn
nights, holding the hand of the person i'm going to marry
right here in brooklyn in less than a month -- and things
were, just for one moment, OK.

i just thought i'd try to frame a small sense of some
NYC perspective for those who are wondering what it is like
here.  and can i send something out also?  a special "hello"
and "hang in there" and "i'm thinking about you" to the
other new yorkers.

it's really hard here right now--but there is beauty, sometimes,
in all the hardship--and it can make the unendurable endurable
(sometimes).

- --emily<<

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