When I first subscribed to the JMDL, I jumped in with both feet and posted a
lot. It didn't take long for me to retreat into lurk mode, by choice, but
I've faithfully read every JMDL Digest for about a year and a half now. Why
did I retreat? The truth is that the high level of interpersonal
communication that exists here on the JMDL makes me uncomfortable, at least
from a participatory standpoint. I often feel that much of what is posted
here would be best posted privately, one lister to another. There's so much
"personal business" on this list. I'm on other lists, devoted to other
artists, and there's nothing like the JMDL's touchy-feely-ness about them.
I think the personality you've allowed the JMDL to develop has its pros and
cons, but as a fan of Joni Mitchell's, I think it's mostly cons. I believe
the "loving, caring community" you strive for sets you up for these constant
petty wars. For me, it's been like having been invited to a non-stop
peoples' party where I end up being Stone Cold Grace, behind her fan. Some
people here have so much of their ego and self-image invested in their "JMDL
image" that slights are seen where none are intended. There's a constant
need by some on the list to be seen as the most eloquent, or the most
sensitive, or the most knowledgeable and well-read, or the most caring, and,
when there's so much, by so many, invested in that kind of thing, this
circle game of war and peace on the list is bound to "reoccur" (intended
Joni-related humor there). There's all this talk about how much everybody
loves one another so much. Sometimes when I'm reading all these selfless,
loving, caring pronouncements, I wonder what it would be like to see a
"Reality TV" re-make of Hitchcock's "Lifeboat," starring the JMDLers.
I don't want off-list flames (see Debra vs. Marcel). Call me what you will
on the list, however. That's fair. You all seem to be nice people (with the
possible exception of Paul IV :-)) and I don't have a single thing against
any of you. All I'm trying to tell you is that what I had hoped to find here
was a Joni Mitchell Discussion List, which at least had music as its
foundation, if not Joni's music, exclusively. Mostly, though, what I've
found here is a Social Club cum Fly On The Wall At The Local Psychoanalyst's
Office List. I don't think a true "JMDL" is possible under these
circumstances, and I don't see a way to retrench from what's been
established here now.
Something lost on many list members, I believe, is that there are probably
hundreds of lurkers like me. It's not just a small circle that reads all
these cringe-inducing personal posts. They would be wonderful, one lister to
another in times of pain or joy, but, instead, they seem disingenuous to me
in their having been sent for all to see.
With love and best wishes (say what you will, because I do care for you
knuckleheads),
Jim
