mary grace, i love you. i loved this post (Morning Notes - NJC = Thursday, September 27, 2001 7:02 AM) it goes into my permanent archive, along with other remarkable posts you've written.
i'm not writing this because you needed to hear it. i think everyone here should know by now, mg does not need validation to feel comfortable in her opinions. it's something we all could learn. i'm just writing it, and including the whole post, because i think it's worth rereading by everyone, i mean everyone, on this list. i'm super happy that vince is back with us, but i thought the "no one posted, so no one cared" stance was childish, and completely separated from the reality of an email discussion list. i think even vince is a little embarassed. if it's any consolation, vince, you weren't the first person to make that rant. and i am truly happy you are among us. i have had some negative responses to some of the other posts, on vince's departure and appropriate topics and appropriate listers in this stressful time. but i think i'll reserve them. mary grace's example is really important to me here... patrick john adams - el niqo ----- >I could have been watching Fox's Love Cruise last night but instead I sat in my chair and thought about the list and the current rash of leavers as well as Ashara's eloquent post for calm, Brian's comments on list angst and Mark Scott's good post from the last digest. And I'm seeing people not posting anything about it, which is fine and I'm seeing people like Marian and Mags feeling bad that they didn't stick up for Vince sooner as well as people saying "it's your choice. Hope you come back soon." Plus some snide comments, (which Mags handled rather well!). Sounds like a normal community to me. But what is it about the JMDL community that gets so passionate so fast? On the WeCount! accounting list, we've nearly come to blows over straight-line depreciation but never with such gusto, never with such hurt feelings, perceived insults, straight out insults, injured silences. Why the difference? And I think that the key word is "community." Some call it a "family." Passions run high in places like that and the JMDL gets further complicated by the fact that it is electronic based, 300+ strong with varying degrees of participation, response time, communication skills and more. When I post, I have no idea if Ashara is having a bad day because she can't figure out just why she's found gristle in her lentil burger or if, 8 months down the road, a breeze brings a whiff of construction dust to Debra Shea and she spends a traumatized day reliving the events of September 11th or if someone else is tearing their hair out over the Smurf controversy: does that title go to Bob S'murphy or Bob S'muller. Who gives a schmit? My point is, passions can spark from the mundane to the profound to everything in between and learning how to live with "electronic" relationships is new to nearly everyone. For myself, I know that I cannot deny the bond that I feel with some of the list members, a few of whom I've never met and yet considered myself very close to them! How do I make sure that these bonds don't jeopardize my "real life" relationships and how do I nurture and strength these bonds? All the while having to get up, make coffee, go to work, do laundry and more. For myself, I have read posts on the list that have made me feel sad or have made me feel a real part of things or have made me feel horribly excluded. I've felt angry! Jealous! Educated! Uplifted! And all this sitting in this corner of my bedroom. Unbelievable. And for everyone who gets tears streaming down their faces as they respond to something or recount thoughts, there is someone else who isn't as affected. For everyone who forgets to list "The 1969 Miracle Mets Commemorative Album" as one of their island picks, there's someone else sighing heavily in the background thinking: "sheesh!" For everyone who skips over a thread as being of no consequence, there's someone else who really gets hurt. The comparison of reactions can go on and on. And I guess the point that sticks out the most to me is why didn't they vote Andrea off the Love Cruise boat instead of Laura? Wait! NO! The point that sticks out the most to me is what a learning experience this is and how much we have to learn in terms of interacting with each other. And I think that moratoriums on "stressful" subjects during times like these isn't the total answer, because to someone out there, everyday is "times like these" and every thread can be "stressful." I think that another thing to try is the old English 101 technique of write, take a break, then edit. Even with this post, I've gone back, edited out the dull parts, (hard to believe, huh?), rewrote lines that, after a cup of coffee, I thought might be construed the wrong way. Every time I DON'T follow that, I post something stoopid. I hope that we do not lose any more good people, I hope that we get back the ones that we did. I hope that we never stop growing. MG And hey! Mary the Newbie! Where's your post? Get it in there gal!
