Kate Bennett wrote: > > PS I agree, cyber bully is a much better phrase & very accurate, as it > refers to verbal abuse. A lot of my recent research about emotional & verbal > abuse defines those doing the abuse as bullys & controllers. Needing to be > right, not listening to others, being likeable in public but abusive in > private, basically being in a lot of pain
That "being in a lot of pain" is why I don't hate Marcel. but not doing the work to get to > the source of the pain. That's why I don't want to be around him. Bad-mouthing me, or others, as the source of his trouble and continuing to be abusive is not going to ever make that pain go away and, unfortunately, there's not even a hint that he's willing to look at himself, so nothing will ever change for him or anyone around him. That's sad for everyone. Debra Shea P.S. I like the term cyber-bully better too. I can understand the use of cyber-rapist in the sense of someone being overpowering and demanding that he be allowed to behave any way he wants to even if it's hurtful to someone else. And also in the sense that such behavior is not to get anything positive, sex in the case of actual rape, or a genuine exchange of thoughts and feelings in the case of the internet, but only to have power over and intimidate someone. I can understand that use of the word cyber-rapist. I prefer the use of the word cyber-bully because it implies an ongoing attitude that results in certain actions, in addition to having the wanting to intimidate and control aspect to it. It also does not conjure up violent physical actions that the term cyber-rapist does. Verbal abuse can easily lead to physical abuse, especially if the target is not being hurt enough or has somehow learned to "take it", but bullying does not always get to that level, especially if the target is able to physically stay away as I've done.
