thanks for posting the link, Walt.

I think both Sullivan and Paglia are goode xamples of homophobia internalised.
as such, compassion could be a reaction after the inital anger and disgust.

I guess that i didn't really mean this sort of blatent hypocrisy either. I find
it very distasteful.

The hypocrisy shown in my belief system is not deliberate but rather the reslut
of indoctrination in childhood-ie. on the one hand being appalled by sexism and
on the other having sexist thoughts and feelings. or being anti racist yet on
the other having racist reactions. When one grows up being taught types of human
are 'less than' it is very difficult to undo it. But undo it we must. when for
many years we see a rac of people portrayed as violent and criminal, it is
imbedded in the psyche and diffiuclt o dislodge, no matter how embarrasing it
is.

However, the self hatred shown by Sullivan(and it seems Paglia) is entirely
different. it is calculated. It is presenting one image to the public, decrying
one way of living(which i detest my self, more about that later) in order to be
accepted and liked. Chronic people pleasing is a sign of self hatred. Yes, how
the man operates is dreadful. It is also very sad and yet another product of
deeply ingrained homophobia which none of us escape, not even we homsexuals.
whoich leads me onto why i detest the culture he condemns(but lives in and
revels in). When i was oyung I was a part of that scene-clubbing, sex and more
sex. Did I enjoy it? Sometimes but mostly no. It just increased my self
loathing. What was i doing then? Looking for acceptance and love. Only I wasn't
going to find it that way! How could I? When what i was doing was not about
accpetance and love and I was doing with others who also were driven by the same
emptiness.(This is not confined to gay people-str8's do it too and for the same
reasons tho the root of the loathing is different).
What i really wnated was a normal everyday life shared with one person whom I
loved and accepted as is and who likewise accepted and loved me. i found that. I
was lucky. It gave me the perch i needed to do the work I needed to do on
myself.(ditto for my partner). Of course that work never ends, life is about
growing and learning.

Having said all that, i do not believe that people who act out the way Sullivan
does(and the culture he condemns) are bad people, just the 'lost and lonely ones
clamouring to be found'.

It REALLY pisses me off that this type of behaviour is used to beat us over the
head with by the homophobes. THEY are the ones who sowed the seed for ti in the
first place! Thru their laws and their hatred of us, they have made it very
difficlut indeed to have long term relationships, in fact in may places it is
illegal, punsihable by prison or death. the EXCLUDE us at every turn, close or
bar meeting places, disallow marriage,refuse to take our reltionships seriously,
force us underground. so when we resort ot meeting in public loos or backrooms
or dark alleys because that is all THEY have left us with, they can say 'see we
told you, these people are sick'!!!!!
Of course, whilst one is looking for or indulging in sex, one does not have the
time to be feeling the internal pain one is experiencing. So it becomes
addictive, a way of keeping the darkness at bay, a way of keeping from being
annihilated.

So whilst we might be disgusted at Sullivan's overt hypocrisy, we might also
feel compassion and understandign for him.

bw
colin

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