> Quotations from women about women: > > Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell > happened. > > The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. > -Helen Hayes (at 73) - > > I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. > -Janette Barber- > > Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm > supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. > -Jan King- > > A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden > retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. > The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling > "Hey, come back here with my breast!" > -Linda Ellerbee- > > Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. > -Lily Tomlin- > > You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? > It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. > -Geri Jewell- > > A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. > -Carrie Snow- > > Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. > -Laurie Kuslansky- > > My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my > head on the top bunk bed until I faint. > -Erma Bombeck- > > Old age ain't no place for sissies. > -Bette Davis- > > A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. > -Rhonda Hansome- > > The phrase "working mother" is redundant. > -Jane Sellman- > > Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. > -Jennifer Unlimited- > > Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half > as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. > -Charlotte Whitton- > > Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts > falling apart. > -Caryn Leschen- > > I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at > once. > -Jennifer Unlimited- > > If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible > warning. > -Catherine Aird- > > When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years > before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! > -Kathy Buckley- > > I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . > . and I'm also not blonde. > -Dolly Parton- > > You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart > woman with a dumb guy. > -Erica Jong- > > If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. > -Sue Grafton- > > I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. > -Roseanne Barr- > > I think---therefore I'm single. > -Lizz Winstead- > > When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another > country. > -Elayne Boosler- > > Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. > -Maryon Pearson > > In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man--if you want anything > done, ask a woman. > -Margaret Thatcher- > > I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a > career. > -Gloria Steinem- > > I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which > answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every > morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late > every night. > -Marie Corelli- > > If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How > intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? > -Linda Ellerbee- > > I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. > -Zsa Zsa Gabor- > > Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. > -Eleanor Roosevelt-
