--- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > hello, > > I want to apologize for being somewhat cranky > lately. the truth is (and > aren't we supposed to admit the truth, or something > like that?) I hate > christmas. I have hated christmas for a long time.
I know exactly what you mean. Christmas seems to promise so much and deliver so little. We get so invested in it emotionally from our earliest days that we continue to expect wonderful things of it year after year, despite whatever disappointments may come. Disappointments of family fights, of marriage breakups, of deaths in the family, of minor things that are ultimately unimportant but that take on so much more significance at this time. We get sucked in by the advertising and hype despite trying to remain immune to it. I hate the materialism of it - the idea that how much you spend is directly proportional to how much you care for someone. I'd like to dispense with the gift-giving entirely. This isn't easy to do when you have children - fortunately for me, I only have two. And years ago, my sisters and brother and I gave up on the idea of buying presents for everyone - it simply isn't possible, nor is it necessary. When my kids get a bit older, I want to do something really useful for Christmas, to help out people who have less than I do. Maybe visit people in hospitals or nursing homes. Or feeding people at hostels. And yet, doing this only at Christmas or major events seems kind of shallow. My christmas this year actually turned out not too badly, despite starting off not too well. The moment my ex had arrived, I wanted to throw his ass out (and the rest of him too!) He immediately started whining and griping and complaining about what a mess the house was in (guess what, pal - you don't live here anymore, so go clean up your own mess before you bitch about mine!) However, I managed to avoid him as much as possible, the meal turned out well (I love Christmas food, but am not fond of anything domestic - I get halfway through preparing a meal and I get fed up with it!) I got rid of shithead as soon as I could, but would prefer that he lived several thousand miles away from me, rather than in the same city (hmm, perhaps that could be arranged...) I know my sisters feel the same way I do - we usually call each other on Christmas and wish each other a Merry Fucking Christmas. I'm not sure how I feel about the Santa Claus thing. The idea of Santa Claus is great, if it's about the spirit of giving (but not necessarily gifts!) but it has become such a farce and so commercialized and every little kid is doomed to disappointment when they find out there's no such thing, or (worse) when they don't get what they really wanted for Christmas. As a child, I was such a goof that I never told anyone what I wanted because I figured Santa Claus would/should *know* so, of course, I never got what I wanted for Christmas, but some of us are so un-clued-in that it still takes us quite a few disappointments to figure it out (which probably explains my staying in a crappy marriage for more than 20 years). (Besides which, even if I had told the whole world, how many people do you know that find a real live horse under their tree Christmas morning? Some of us really do set ourselves up for the fall, don't we?) So, I want a quiet and simple Christmas and it seems, as years go by, that that is more likely to happen. My family (that is, my sisters, brother and I) have drifted more apart since our parents died, and we all have families of our own. I would like to drift very far apart from the ex, except that he keeps on hanging around, trying to do things "as a family" (speaking of un-clued-in), so that I have to be extremely blunt and nasty with him telling him he's free to do things with the kids but I don't want to be there (and he still doesn't get it - anyone got a sledge hammer?) I suppose it's part of midlife crisis. One of these days, it'll all pass and maybe Christmas will be simple again. As far as Christmas music goes, I love some of it, hate some of it - most of what I hate is the stuff that you hear in every shopping mall and elevator from Nov 1 on, way too cloying and overdone. Still, there's some lovely stuff out there and fortunately, as of December 26, it usually disappears for another ten months! ______________________________________________________ Send your holiday cheer with http://greetings.yahoo.ca
