For all those new and old in Chicago
>I believe this to be completely accurate
>
>Chicago Temperature Conversion Chart
>
>+60 F . . . Arizonans wear coats, gloves and fuzzy hats.
>Chicago people sunbathe.
>
>+50 . . . New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
>Chicago people plant gardens.
>
>+40 . . . Italian cars won't start.
>Chicago people drive with the windows down.
>
>+32 . . . Distilled water freezes.
>Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
>
>+20 . . . Californians shiver uncontrollably.
>Chicago people have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
>
>+15 . . . New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
>Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.
>
>0 degrees . . . Californians fly away to Mexico.
>Chicago people lick the flagpole.
>
>-20 . . . People in Phoenix cease to exist.
>Chicago people get out their winter coats.
>
>-40 . . . Hollywood disintegrates.
>Chicago Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
>
>-60 . . . Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
>Chicago Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until
>it actually gets cold enough.
>
>-80 . . . Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
>Chicago people rent some videos.
>
>-100 . . . Santa Claus abandons North Pole.
>Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
>
>-297 . . . Microbial life barely survives on dairy products.
>Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
>
>-460 . . . (absolute zero) ALL atomic motion stops.
>Chicago people start saying, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
>
>-500 . . . Hell freezes over.
>The Cubs win the World Series.
