Evian wrote:

> OK Wally, you are a lifesaver!  I haven't tried it yet, but I am sure your
> method will work.  Thus, I will adopt you and bring you to Saskatchewan
(where
> it is blizzarding right now, I might add), and you can be my personal
assistant,
> doing things like cleaning cds and such.  However, since I had originally
asked
> Hell to come and do the job, I'll have to reclassify her position.  Hmmm,
she
> *does* do something with that rugby team -- Hell, perhaps you would like
to be
> my personal trainer?  I have to warn you though that I am chubbier than
ever
> this winter, and ever since I hit 30, I ache just looking at people doing
> exercise for fun, so it will be a tough job.  I also am terrified of rugby
too,
> so don't get any ideas.  I had a friend who played it who used to put
vaseline
> on his ears for some reason, which freaked me out, and the one time I went
and
> watched, he broke some bones, so don't even think of getting me into that
scary
> shit. Also, I am afraid that the two of you will have to share a room, and
the
> pay is sort of.... nonexistent... and as I stated, my DJRD might be
wrecked and
> Hejira has this mysterious scratch on it, so best to bring your Joni
> collections.... Oh, and the perpetually ill cat is trying to cough up fur
balls
> or something lately (nothing has come up yet), so she may have to sleep
with you
> two until she passes it, ok?  Oh, and I expect y'all to start a curling
team
> with me and my wife too... don't forget your brooms!
> p.s. -- stop at the duty free on your way in and get me some American
smokes
> too.... Oh... and don't worry -- you only have to call me Sir during
working
> hours :)
>     Of course, y'all can get here and tell me to kiss your asses and plop
down
> on my couch and crank some Joni, and that would be fine too (I couldn't be
a Mr.
> Burns if I tried!)
> Evian

Vaseline?  Some simple tape around the ears would stop that "cauliflower"
thing happening!  And yes, it's a dangerous game.  I've had a broken finger,
concussion and two lots of cracked ribs, so I speak from experience!  I'm
afraid my philosophy on exercise has changed over the years, too.  But if
your idea of a good work-out is moving the remote control out of arms reach,
so you have to "walk" to the TV to change channels, then I'm your girl!  And
drinking in bars with no table service is a good motivator, too.

Hell

P.S.  I can handle a cat with fur balls, and sharing a room with Wally would
be a pleasure.  I can even choke out the word "Sir" if I absolutely have to.
But I draw the line at buying cigarettes for you.  Those duty-free limits
are ridiculous enough without wasting my valuable allocation buying "other"
people's alcohol and nicotine!
____________________________
"To have great poets, there must be
great audiences too." - Walt Whitman

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