It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping they did
when they were younger. When men notice this, they should try not to
yell.
Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became
necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job both for extra income and for
health insurance benefits that we need. She was a trained lab tech when
we met thirty some years ago and was fortunate to land a job at the
local medical center as a phlebotomist.
It was shortly after she started working at this job that I
noticed that she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from
fishing or hunting about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has
to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper. I try not to
yell at her when this happens. Instead, I tell her to take her time. I
understand that she is not as young as she used to be. I just tell her
to wake me when she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished
eating. It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several
hours after supper. I do what I can by reminding her several times each
evening that they aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates
this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger,
Nancy used to be able to go up and down the stairs all day and not get
tired.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly.
Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps. I
don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes up the laundry
the next evening I am willing to overlook it. Not only that, but unless
I need something ironed to wear to the Monday's lodge meeting or to
Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's
bowling or something like that, I will tell her to wait until the next
evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some
of those odds and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming, or
dusting.
Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to
gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace. Nancy is starting to
complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind you, but just enough for
me to notice.
For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find
time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her
complaining, I continue to try to offer encouragement. I tell her to
stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to
rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and
then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest
periods than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago she said
she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I overlook comments like these because I realize it's just age
talking. In fact, I try to not embarrass her when she needs these little
extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. I tell her that as
long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me
and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall
asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support
Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show this
much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will
find it impossible. No one knows better than I do how frustrating women
can become as they get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to
suggest that you make the effort. I realize that achieving the exemplary
level of showing consideration I have attained is out of reach for the
average man. However guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little
less often because of this article, I will consider that writing it was
worthwhile.
--
bw
colin
DAK,BRO GC, 950i, 940,860,864,890, 260,Silver 830,860, 580 and 270,
Passap 6000, Duo80,Creation 6
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://www.tantra-apso.com
