This is how the bra came to be, according to Bette Midler: Otto Titsling, inventor and Kraut Had nothing to get very worked up about His inventions were failures, his prospects were bleak He fled to the opera at least twice a week
One night at the opera he saw an Aida Whose bust was so big, it would often impede her Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit Done in by the weight of those terrible tits! (Oh my God! Thar she blows! Aerodynamically this girl was a mess! But as Otto eyed the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds, the light of inspiration suddenly flooded through his brain and he ran home to his work shop where he futzed and futzed and futzed and futzed!) For Otto Titsling had found his quest To lift and mold the female breast To point the small ones to the sky To keep the big ones high and dry All night long he'd sweat and snort Searching for the right support He tried some string and paper clips He even tried his own two lips! (After many days and nights of sweating and slaving, one night Otto finally emerged from his laboratory triumphant! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he had invented the world's first over-the-shoulder-bolder-holder! He ran straight to the diva's house bearing the prototype in his hot little hands. Now at first the diva did not want to try the darn thing on. But she finally did. And the sigh of relief that escaped her lips was mistaken by many for the onset of the Siroccan winds that often blew through the Schwarzwald with a vengeance!! But little did Otto realize that at that very moment, lurking under the divas bed was the very worst of the French patent thieves: Phillup de Brassiere. And Phil was watching the scene with a great deal of interest!) Later that night while Brunhilda slept Into the wardrobe Phillipe softly crept He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore Til he found Otto's titsling and he ran out the door Crying 'Oh my God, what joy! What bliss! I'm gonna make me a million from this! Every woman in the world will wanna buy one I can have all the goods manufactured in Taiwan!' The result of this swindle is pointedly clear Do you buy a titsling? Or do you buy a brassiere??!! >From the Divine Miss M brought to you through the courtesy of the Divine Mr. M. in Seattle
