hello JMDLers, just a quick note to say hi and share some good news--
i'm pregnant.  (!!!)  i'm just over three months along, so if all goes well,
courtney and i will have our first child on april 1.  that's right, the official
due date is april fool's...we're trying not to dwell on the connotations!

i feel great, now that the first trimester nausea and exhaustion have
passed.  and i'm thrilled and full of joy at this next step courtney and
i are taking together--it will be the first grandchild for both of our parents,
so we're causing quite a stir in each of our families!  mainly i'm just
feeling a strong inner sense of peace and blessing--we had a tough year
last year, as most of you know.  and my leaving new york after 9/11
was a wrenching, mixed-blessing decision.  so this tiny heartbeat
inside me (so loud and fast though!) is like a personal beacon of some kind--
and more than anything shows me how far i've come in my own
struggles with anxiety, depression, and sadness from last year.

so i'd like to share the news that we're rejoicing over!  thanks for
reading.

-- emily, in chicago

ps: i have to say that the day i found out i was pregnant i went into my
study alone and played "blue"--then courtney came in, sat with me
for a while, and after the record ended he put on some phish (his
favorite), saying it was only fair that the music options be fair and
equal for this baby right from the start!

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