Before I write about the subject in the heading, a quick message for Big
Walt: thank you for that beautiful post, the letter to your 2 Spanish
friends. Sorry, I can't say much more, just that I really know I like you
and feel very close to you. The balancing of the glass that is about to
overflow, the sheer willpower that keeps you going, the humanity throughout
it all... yes, that's life at its worst and best as I know it too, my
friend! Big big hug for you.
Now, Laurent, about getting your kids onto good music, I'm just going
through this with my sons aged 15 and 17. First of all, Bob Muller has
already covered most of what I wanted to say. Patience, mutual respect, etc
will do wonders.
Really, I remember trying to make my sons hear things that they simply were
not ready for at a certain age. For example: instead of learning to like
Steely Dan, my son Thomas got an aversion to them, he found them really
depressing (when he heard me play them when he was in bed, it made him
nervous and unable to sleep!) But last week I got him to listen again,
because he's into electric guitar, and he enjoyed it, calling them slick and
jazzy. I think it's like certain tastes (strong cheeses, bitter flavours
etc) that a child just can't like and has to grow a more mature palate for.
I used to hate jazz, now I love it.
So all you can do is try to give your kids things they CAN like at this age.
(Like food with soft flavours that's still healthy.)
In the case of my boys, it worked with the Beatles and the Monkees and Harry
Nilsson. They wanted the Best of Nilsson tape on in the car whenever we
went anywhere. Favourites were Me and My Arrow and Spaceman, but also
Without You (which in fact made Thomas very sad, the first time he heard it)
and I was very proud, when some time later Maria Carey came out with that
song, my boys hated it - the way she warbled and dragged out the notes
(someone, maybe Walt? or Bobmurph? wrote some very funny posts about it some
time ago, had a very apt term for it, like verbal diarrhoea) - so that gave
me hope for the future!
When they did start listening to music on their own, it was first to some
popsy nonsense such as the Spice Girls but that did not last more than a
blink of the eyes (or flap of the ears) and then they went into nu-metal
etc. Now Thomas is into guitar bands such as Guns & Roses and Maze but he
also listens to Blondie and is ready to start sampling my collection. He's
getting into Jeff Buckley and Van Morrisson (and when in the right mood will
stay in the room when I have Joni on) and is reading up on the evolution of
ska and reggie etc. I can just imagine that in another year or so (a
lifetime in the way they change at that age!) he may be right into Cat
Stevens or Paul Simon, and a few years later into Frank Sinatra or Miles
Davies, who knows. I've learnt not to push, because it simply doesn't work.
But of course, not everybody ends up liking music the way we do. I have
friends who still haven't got a clue, who won't get beyond "mood
collections" with Celine Dion etc. As Thomas was trying to explain to me
last week: kids of his age have outgrown simple popsy stuff such as Britney
and Kylie, so those "who can't really hear music" go for the commercial R&B.
Then, according to the Thomas theory, there are the grungers and the people
who are into metal or rap. They all dress accordingly (he is a grunger
himself). Well I'm glad he tells me, and that he knows that I can follow
what he tells me!
I could tell you more or less the same story about my younger son Laurence.
He's taking electric bass lessons and each week the teacher makes him learn
the bassline of some song, normally from the 70s (Billy Joel, Eric Clapton,
etc.) and again, it is opening his ears at exactly the right time for him,
without anybody pushing.
My last bit of advice: music education! Get a piano in the house, get your
kids some music lessons, at least if they are in the least interested. I
find it is all paying off now.
Now I'll have to find ways of getting them more interested in painting and
architecture! Not so easy, as it's not part of our all-invasive popular
culture. But I have some cunning plans up my sleeve! :-)
Lieve.
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