with the new members recently joining, perhaps it is time for the New 
Member FAQ.

The questioner is that fool Vince who after being here then for 3 years 
didn't know a thing.
The answers are supplied by experienced JMDLer Randy Remote.
(this was originally posted in April 2001)



Q: what does SIQUOMB mean?
A: It's an acronym for "Stop Imposing Questions Unto Other Mortal 
Beings" It's from an unpublished opera by Joni

Q: what is Joni's best album?
A: the Hissing Missing Mingus sessions demos, which no one but JM and 
Henry Lewy have ever heard

Q: What is a tape tree?
A: Didn't your parents sit down and talk with you about this stuff?

Q: is everyone in here really straight?
A: See above

Q: are all members really Republicans?
A: Of course!  Except the dirty little commies...


Q: is George W. Bush a member of the JMDL?  (Can George W. even spell "JMDL"?)
A: I think you answered that one yourself.


Q: What does NJC mean?
A: I can't remember, nor can anyone else...


Q: What does NP mean?
A: Nordic Poultry in the US....Navigational Polymetry everywhere else.


Q: Is Joni a member?
N: To paraphrase Groucho, I wouldn't want to be part of a group
that would allow me to be a member.


Q: Is everyone always friendly here? (I am easily bruised.)
A: Yes, except for full moons, Saturdays, and Joni's Witness holidays.


Q: Has there ever been a tribute concert for Larry Klein, or at least a
tribute album made to honor Dog Eat Dog?
A: No, but I understand Klein himself is making a tribute album for
his dog.



Q: Will anyone here try to make me their dancing clown? (I hope not, I
scare easily.)
A: Geez, you are sensitive!  You'll never last here.  Now that I think
of it, the only dancing clown I've ever seen was at the rodeo.


Q: I have this wonderful idea: why not have a New England gathering every
labor day of all the Joni fans?
A: I'm sorry to be blunt, but that is a stupid idea and no one will
ever go for it.


Q: Or maybe, someone could collect all the covers of Joni's songs and put
them on a cd or two.
A: I'm not sure you could even fill a CD.  Using the CD's as covers
for pots and pans might work, though.


Q; Anyway, just my suggestions.  I hope to be a happy member of the JMDL!  I'm so 
nervous to see if anyone welcomes me, or tells me to go to heck (naughty words are 
never used in here, right?),
A: If you are going to be that way, then go to heck!

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