I think Mags hit the nail on the head when she said that respect and tenderness are key components in any community. Those qualities exist here, for sure.
I wasn't slagging any one person or any one group when I commented on respect for new members but I do know from off-list discussions with some people that there are those who feel occasionally alienated or ignored here, and yes, even belittled. There was the person who wanted to make it his mission in life to ridicule another list member because of a naive comment that he made, there was the person who was essentially giving me "the finger" in retaliation to one of my opinions and there are numerous other examples of nastiness that I could cite here but don't have the inclination to do so. I don't feel a victim and I actually feel that my posts are generally very well received. I've had numerous people write to me off-list with pleasant comments to make and I truly value those comments. I was simply raising the point that there IS ugliness on this list from time to time and was, perhaps, simply trying to diagnose an illness that needs to be cured, since Les asked for a discussion of the problems or symptoms of negativity. I feel very comfortable here and there are so many people on this list who make it great! As I said, I was made to feel very, very welcome. It's the snide remarks and nastiness that I perceive from time to time that get me to thinking there are some who simply can't, or won't, stomach it and will therefore unsubscribe, taking with them their experiences, their stories, their thoughts that they had wanted to express to us but felt stonewalled by a few bad apples who like being cranky or who are just not receptive. -Andrew Yahoo! Tax Center - forms, calculators, tips, more http://taxes.yahoo.com/
