Mark in Seattle wrote:
> Hi Marian! Good to see you posting again!
Yes, it is, Marian. I hope it means all's well with you and family and
work and everything else now.
> I've been thinking about this one ever since I read this post last
> night. Joni affects me in a very different way, as well.
> .... But mostly Joni makes me feel something entirely different from
> whatever feeling or feelings bring tears to my eyes. In part I feel a
> kind of respect and awe for the amazing excellence of their
> composition and expression. Of course there's more than that but that
> is part of it. Joni's voice is like an old friend to me. It's
> comforting. I feel the same way about Billie Holiday. Billie doesn't
> make me cry either. They both tap into very deep emotions but they
> don't make old wounds hurt. They soothe. They heal. They inspire.
A couple of years ago a coworker and I were talking about concerts. I was
about to see Joni and Bob and she was excited about seeing Gloria
Estefan, her favorite, and I asked her what she liked so much about
Gloria's music. "She makes me dance" was her answer and she asked me why
Joni was my favorite and I said, "she makes me think" (an answer that
surprised even me). I sure didn't win her over to Joni with that one. In
fact she got that wrinkle between the eyebrows people get when they've
heard something they can't comprehend. What fun is thinking compared to
dancing, after all?
And, I wondered then, is that really why I've been listening to Joni for
years? Now that I'm being so viscerally captured by other music lately,
plus Marian's question, and I wonder again what it is about Joni's music
that holds me. The only song of hers that makes me cry almost every time
is Amelia, although River has gotten to me too sometimes (and I've been
known to snuffle at commercials). Hearing Joni's other songs is a mostly
cerebral experience, as Marian describes it. They sound good, yes, but
while listening I think about how I feel, about the images she's painting
with the lyrics, about how one sound of an instrument or a word plays
against another, about the complexity of what she's created. Sometimes a
sound, usually the way her voice catches, will emotionally grab me, but
mostly her work makes me think about feelings, rather than actually
having those feelings.
Sounds rather boring, and yet I've been listening for decades now. Hmmm.
There was an article in the NYTimes magazine months ago about grief and
Mark's words "They soothe. They heal. They inspire" makes me think of it.
The author, a priest, writes: "I suspect that today we are not supposed
to expect that much of life. We are supposed to settle for less. What,
then, do we expect of grief counselors? To help us suppress these
embarrassing expectations of the heart? Is consolation after all a
lowering of expectations? If anything, I am consoled by the Book of Job,
which derides those who tried to explain Job's suffering to him. God does
not seek to console him; He just shows up, and this is enough. It was not
explanations Job wanted, but solidarity, compassion, love."
Joni in her music just shows up, full of high expectations, suffering
deeply from losses, expressing great joy sometimes, and offering no
explanations at all, only descriptions of her experience, and that is
enough. The companionship is healing, so maybe then there's no need to
cry any more.
But the need for healing is never ending, even in the best of times, so I
keep listening, with my eyes dry but heart very much involved I now
realize. What a surprise.
> Enough. Sorry for the bandwidth.
>
> Mark in Seattle
No apology needed. It was a beautiful post Mark.
Debra Shea
NP: PJ Harvey's latest one with a Joni-sounding title but music that
sounds like Patti Smith/Lou Reed. "The Whores Hustle and the Hustlers
Whore" followed by "This Mess We're In" are worth the price of the cd.
Wow.
