>NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE > >To the citizens of the United States of America, > >In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA >and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we >hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective >today. > >Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical >duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories, >including New Jersey. > >To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please >comply with the following acts: > >1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75). >Start spelling English words correctly. > >2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen" > >3. Start referring to "soccer" as football > >4. Declare war on Quebec and France > >5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason > >6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby > >7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train >waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you >their names before you eat. > >8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced by >November 5th (aka Guy Fawkes Day - when he tried to blow up the >House of Parliament). > >9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to >take 6 weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks. > >10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect >the change immediately. > >11. Report to our Consulate General in NY for your new >passport and job allocation. > >12. Have Meg Ryan report to Prince Andrew's Bedchamber. > >13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument - >and the Queens Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial. > >14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it >the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan. > >Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you >shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to >1776). > >Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day. -- ######################################################### Steve Dulson Costa Mesa CA [EMAIL PROTECTED] "The Tinker's Own" http://www.tinkersown.com "Southern California Dulcimer Heritage" http://members.aol.com/scdulcimer/ "The Living Tradition Concert Series" http://www.thelivingtradition.org/
