I don't generally forward these things...blah, blah, blah... ;-) -Julius > BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT; BUSH TO BE SMITTEN LATER TODAY > > > In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one > nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule > the Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to > George Bush. > > "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this > morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not > going to lie back and let Bush get away with this nonsense." "I've > watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in > Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly > who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by > exactly 20,219 votes." > > Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict > overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida > to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is > analyzing God's Word for possible grounds for appeal. > > "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign > strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. > Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against > the constitution of the state of Florida." > > "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises > ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." > > God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, > explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no > grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot." > > "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get > real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name > them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; > Barnhardt, Ron..." > > Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. > Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite > him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book > of Job, God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped > him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, > forced the former presidential candidate into hard > labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils. > > Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
