Just occasionally, one of these email round-robin jokes makes me laugh out loud. This one did, so in the spirit of laughter being the best medicine, here it is... Due to increasing product liability, alcoholic beverages manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all bottles. 1. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 2. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. 3. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in. 4. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. 5. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your clothes. 6. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. 7. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung Fu powers. 8. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose name, and/or species you can't remember). 9. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. 10. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home. 11. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. 12. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you. 13. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. 14. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
