Brett Code wrote:
> <<<Joni is hinting at something here, wanting to get to the essence of that
> thing, that 'whatever-it-is' that keeps people, particularly certain women,
> I guess, almost trapped with their spouse - 'til death, I guess, no matter
> what kind of abuse, fear, hatred, boredom, whatever it is that causes one to
> shoot out streetlights and wish, every spring, as night follows day, to be
> gone, but not to go.>>>
Many women who stay with abusers do so because they feel there is no way out.
For some women, there is just nowhere to go. A battered self esteem can be found
at the root of the problem for her. Little emotional support and lack of money
are a couple of the many factors inhibiting her. She feels very early on that
she has no choice but to stay and hope for the best and keep clinging onto the
life raft dream of hope.
The phrase no choice becomes the very thing that keeps her sane, otherwise she
might succumb to temptation, slipping into cold black waters....she finds
comfort in the idea of drowning.
She lives inside her head, tries to make sense out of the hell hole she finds
herself in. Socially, there is a whole dynamic set up that makes it very hard
for her to escape. It feels kind of like being pinned down, you can barely
breathe, you feel as though you are being held hostage, trapped against your
will. You hold that gun in the middle of both of your clenched fists, adrenalin
rises, you take aim, you think for sure this time..yes....you imagine hitting
that target dead on, it gives you this rush, this temporary sense of power..you
begin to believe that you really could leave this time, just this once, if
only....
Mags.
