Let me explain it more thoroughly:

1) On the php side, you want to connect to your db server. This part has
nothing to do with your IP. It completely depends on the db server IP.
Therefore we used  192.168.1.20 in the mysql_connect function call.

2) On the mysql side, you want your db to accept connections from your
machine. This completely depends on your machine (host), and has nothing to
do with the IP assigned to your db server machine. Therefore we created a
user at your host (192.168.1.21) to accept connections from.

What most probably confused you here is the redundancy of the term host. For
the mysql_connect function, the host is the db server. But when you got the
db connection error, the msg came from the db server, and the host there
meant your machine.
So although the term was used twice, it had a different meaning depending on
who used the term. your web server calls the db server a host, and your db
server calls the web server a host. Just try to figure who issued the msg,
and who is being referenced.

-- 
Al-Faisal El-Dajani
Phone: +962-7-79737050
P.O Box: 140056
11814 Amman, Jordan

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