It's hard work being a mistress
> I don't know why wives
> bellyache about their husbands taking off with their
> mistresses. If they know how much work those girls do to
> keep other people's properties, the wives would keep
> quiet. Yes, it's tough being a wife but by Jove it's
> tougher being a mistress. Keeping what's not yours
> requires a lot of gut and staying power. It's also not a
> business for cowards. It's not a venture for those who
> don't want to sweat. It's tension soaked, energy-
> sapping, emotional and spiritual – intensive business. And
> the big players, know the stakes. That's why when
they
> reap the fruits of their labour, we all can't help but
> gape. So when next you open a soft – sell magazine and see
> some beautiful 35-year-old opening up about her life and
> business in the oil sector, don't think she got there by
> generally doing what you do. There's a lot of hard work
> involved in being a successful enviable mistress of the
> right guy. Emphasis on the right guy. You think you go to
> church? Mistresses go to churches. They move from one
> miracle – distributing church to the other. They sleep on
> mountains for days. They fast move and longer than wives.
> For them, being a mistress is a major investment that must
> be guarded jealously, watered intensely and watched over
> with every drop of blood. Wives have tendencies to relax and
> take their investments for granted. Not mistresses. The
> goose that lays the golden eggs
must be put in a golden
> cage. I remember vividly my experience in the waiting room
> of a Moroccan massage parlour last year. I was waiting for
> my turn when some of the attendants of the establishment
> brought out all kinds of 'gadgets' to keep a man's
> attention. Oh boy, it was one long sex education, the kind
> you can find only when big girls are teaching one another
> survival tricks. There was this ointment (or was it a
> cream?) that was offered me for N5,000. It's job? It'll
> keep the man asking for more. Just rub it down below and the
> man will go to heaven and return as many times as he wants.
> It was a small jar. The big jar was N10,000. While I was
> trying to make up my mind if I wanted to try the cream or
> even if I had the energy to send someone to heaven more than
> once, the girls brought out this gigantic bottle. You need
> your
two hands to carry it and the liquid content cost
> N25,000. The bottle, according to the girls, had been buried
> in the ground for one whole year, yes 12 months. For
> efficacy. It's strictly for feminine use. It smells great
> and it is supposed to do greater things for your man in your
> bed. I bet you are dying to know which one I bought. I'm
> not telling. The lesson is mistresses invest in their
> paraphernalia of office and I saw a few things that day.
> Stuffs were bought for good money too. Just think about it.
> I'm sure you have heard or read stories of undergraduates
> and 25-year-olds ending up in the kind of wealth you and I
> only dream of. I'm sure you have also wondered where those
> girls got their 'heads' from and why yours is not
> fetching you money or even love. But what are you doing
> about it? You think you can just wish for a shop in Ikoyi, a
> duplex in Victoria Island and summer holiday in Barbados and
> they all fall in your pretty laps? Not on your dreaming
> life. You work for it, girl. That's why those smart ones
> outside can hold their sugar daddies. That's also why some
> wives are having more fun than the others. Have you had
> white fast this year and for how many days? You are eating
> like food's going out of fashion while your husband's
> girlfriend is fasting her waist away. She's losing
> waist' and you are gaining it. She's locked up somewhere
> in one white-garment church doing cross-road prayers and you
> are nagging about 'aso-ebi'? Jazz don catch you, baby.
> You don't even know what cross-road prayer is? I'll bail
> you out. Cross-road prayer is one where you lock up yourself
> for a day, two days or for as long as you can to pray
> without talking
to anybody. You just keep praying, talking
> only to God until He does it. Adejoke (you don't think
> that's her real name, do you?) just finished her seven-day
> white fast. Her prayer point? Her politician boyfriend just
> bought her a Honda Element and she wants to park it in front
> of a befitting house in Maitama Abuja. She believes if she
> asks God and does as her prophet decrees, it'd be done. If
> she gets it, what would you think? It's crazy, isn't it?
> There are other spiritual exercises like being on a prayer
> mountain for days so a man can keep doing what you want him
> to do even when you are not legally married to him.
> Frightening but true. Some of these smart girls know all the
> prayer mountains from Ede to Oke Erinmo to Kaduna. And they
> go there for prayers. Now, I'm not saying that religious
> leaders aid and abet untoward things;
I'm just concerned
> that wives shouldn't think it's okay to just assume that
> husbands are forever. No, they are not. There are too many
> girls out there who want your man, probably more than you
> do. They are working harder than you think. I also learnt
> that there are prayers to bring down the holy books and that
> takes five to seven for 'men of God' to do. If you have
> only daughters for your husband and he has assured you that
> 'nothing spoil', don't take anything for granted. In
> fact, don't believe him or rest on your oars. His
> girlfriends are working day and night to get him an heir. I
> just found out that there's an hospital in Kuwait where
> there are specialists who help to fix sex of a baby with
> appreciable success rate. Yes, Kuwait, these girls will go
> anywhere to please your man and you are there taking him for
>
granted. Kuwait is where she'd take him for the next
> summer and she'd get the right male chromosomes out of him
> to consolidate her hold in your business. And the rain of
> twins everywhere? Have you wondered if God just suddenly
> opened the windows of heaven for twins to be born in
> Nigeria? No. Fertility dugs are here to the rescue. And
> while wives are ready to continue to 'believe God' for
> the fruit of the womb, the mistresses are going through the
> pain of injecting themselves with fertility stuff and
> monitoring every change in their bodies to produce that
> fruit of the womb. So what have we learnt? Life, marriage is
> a cutthroat business where he who endures wins gold or dies
> at the finishing line
>
******************************************************************************
>
