-----Original Message-----
From: Alcaneses, Benedict X [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2001 2:37 PM
To: George Joseph Fernandes; Reynaldo D. Miranda; Bert Millare; 'Cajetan
Mendes'; 'Nap'
Subject: BS Wed - Nov 28, 2K1
Everything I know About SUCCESS, I learned from the BIBLE
Topic : Building a Lasting Marriage
Introduction:
All of us work hard to make our marriage meaningful and lasting. We want
our marriage that is happy and joyful with a minimum of conflict, pain and
struggle. Yet many marriages fail to meet these expectations. Often, the
reason can be traced to the fact that the couple overlooked several
essential ingredients.
Body:
The Word of God provides us with a recipe, ten of the essential ingredients
for a meaningful marriage.
1. Total Commitment
Total commitment to the marriage (union) and to each other is
essential for a lasting marriage.
The ingredient is reflected in the "CLEAVING " (adhering, sticking,
devoted) spoken of in God's description of marriage.
God says in , Genesis 2 : 24 - For this cause a man shall leave his
father and mother and shall cleave (united - to adhere firmly and closely or
loyally and unwaveringly) to his wife; and they shall become one in flesh.
Commitment to marriage involves a recognition that marriage is more
than just a legal or judicial agreement.
But the Bible calls it a "COVENANT" (Proverbs 2:17 ; Malachi 2:14).
Marriage involves a vow or promise that makes the obligation binding.
Commitment to marriage involves a recognition that marriage was
designed by God to permanent until death. " What therefore God joined
together let no man asunder - Matthew 19:6)
2. Total Acceptance
In marriage we should accept our partner as he or she is.
Most of us have had few surprise during our first year of marriage.
Give example......
Many couples spend their lives nagging each other about personal
habits and idiosyncrasies that they have no power to change. Nagging will
never change our partners much. It will only irritate them and make us
bitter.
Romans 15:7 Wherefore accept one another just as Christ also
accepted us to his glory
If we have a problem with our spouse, we should make it a matter of
prayer. Perhaps the Lord will change us! Not our partner but us, our
attitude towards our partner by accepting him/her.
We should learn to appreciate the peculiarities of our spouse as
evidences of the unique and special individual God has made that person.
3. Loving Communication
Underline, Loving communication.
Honest communication is better but it should be spoken with love.
Ephesians 4:15 - But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow in
all aspects in Him.
Loving communication lets the truth be known, but it does so in such
a way to edify the partner and build up the marriage.
4. Genuine Forgiveness
Nobody is perfect. That state of affairs demands a lot of genuine
forgiveness in marriage.
Let's take the case of Hosea.
Gomer, Hosea's adulterous wife actually became a temple of
prostitute. Yet God instructed Hosea, "Go again, love a woman who is loved
by her husband, yet an adulteress" - Hosea 3:1. It was not easy for Hosea
but he sought his unfaithful wife and restored her to himself and to God.
Hosea shown here genuine forgiveness.
Genuine forgiveness of even the worst sin is not only essential to a
successful marriage; it is essential to the enjoyment of God's blessing. God
will not bless an unforgiving heart.
5. Role Relationship
Their two main roles for spouses in marriage. The husband's role is
that of "SACRIFICIAL LOVER" (Eph 5:25). TH wife's role is that "SUBMISSIVE
HELPER" (Genesis 2:18)
The husband has the authority over his wife, but he is not to be
dictator. Nor his wife to be a doormat.
The husband is to exercise his headship in love and sacrifice. The wife is
to exercise her submission with assistance and respect.
Two different roles and yet they are equal like Christ has a role
different from the Father, yet they are equal (1 Cor. 11:3)
6. Spiritual Kinship
A Christian husband and wife must develop a spiritual kinship - a
sense of being co-laborers for Christ with a joint mission in life.
Husband and wife work in the vineyard of God as a team effort which
will result of developing a ministry together.
Spouses need to share in each other's lives and ministries. Praying
together, working together, and dreaming together will help build a
spiritual kinship and lasting marriage.
7. Growing Friendship
Is our spouse our best friend?
Friends talk, give gifts and do things together .........(expound).
So let us treat our mate as our best friend.
8. Flaming Romance
The physical expression of love in marriage union must be viewed as
natural, healthy, and wholesome gift of God.
Advice : Take time for the marriage bed. Spend a weekend together at
a resort hideaway. Study the Song of Solomon with your spouse. These
special times are vital to the maintenance of healthy romance with your
spouse.
9. Good Humor
Solomon declared " A joyful heart is good medicine" Proverbs 17:22).
Married couples make mistakes. When they do, they can either laugh
or cry together, Certainly there is a time for both. But when as a couple
they can laugh at errors in judgement, financial hardships and personal
trials they are well on the road to a lasting marriage.
Nothing helps more in dealing with turmoil, frustration, and
conflict in marriage than having a good sense of humor.
10. Spiritual Rebirth
The most important ingredient to lasting marriage is to have Christ at the
center of the marriage relationship. He will give strength, direction,
balance, and stability to marriage and home life.
Christ being at the center, He will make help our marriage successful,
joyous, and lasting.
--------------------------------
What about Love, Most people think of Love as the most essential ingredient
in marriage.
Solomon declared in Song of Solomon 8:7 - Many waters cannot quench love,
nor will rivers overflow it"
The unquenchable love of which Solomon spoke is the sweet fruit of marriage
relationship made with proper recipe. Love is the result of growing and
working together to develop a God honoring marriage.
Conclusion:
The ingredients shared tonight may serve as a checklist for evaluating and
strengthening our marriages.
The ingredients make all the difference. Like in the Story of making Jell-O
salad, Kool aid will never substitute for Jell-O. If we have the right
ingredients, our marriage can be fulfilling and successful.
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