Lesson number one
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.  A small rabbit saw the crow, and 
asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"  The crow answered: 
"Sure, why not."  So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.  All of 
a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story is:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high.

Lesson number two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.  "I would love to be able to get to the top of that 
tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."  "Well, why don't you nibble 
on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.  "They're  packed with nutrients."  The 
turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to 
reach the first branch of the tree.  The next day, after eating some more dung, he 
reached the second branch.  Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at 
the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out 
of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson number three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.  The brain said, "I 
should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."  The feet 
said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to 
go."  The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all 
the money."  And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until 
finally the asshole spoke up.  All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being 
the Boss.  So the asshole went on       strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. 
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, 
the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.  Eventually they all decided 
that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did 
all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.



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When i bee-um, the toilets clog with my poop
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