>>Lesson number one
>>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.  A small rabbit saw the crow, 
>and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"  The crow 
>answered: "Sure, why not."  So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and 
>rested.  All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>>Moral of the story is:
>>To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high.
>>
>>Lesson number two
>>A turkey was chatting with a bull.  "I would love to be able to get to the top of 
>that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."  "Well, why don't you 
>nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.  "They're  packed with nutrients." 
> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough 
>strength to reach the first branch of the tree.  The next day, after eating some more 
>dung, he reached the second branch.  Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly 
>perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot 
>the turkey out of the tree.
>>Moral of the story:
>>Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
>>
>>Lesson number three
>>When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.  The brain said, "I 
>should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."  The feet 
>said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants 
>to go."  The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn 
>all the money."  And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes 
>until finally the asshole spoke up.  All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole 
>being the Boss.  So the asshole went on       strike, blocked itself up and refused 
>to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet 
>twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.  Eventually they 
>all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the 
>other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
>>Moral of the story:
>>You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
>>
>>
>>
>>--------------------------------------------
>>When i bee-um, the toilets clog with my poop
>>When I don't take Beano
>>I can't stop farting
>>My shit doesn't smell, just clogs toilets
>>--------------------------------------------



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