From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]; [email protected];
[email protected]
Subject: FW: Need a Laugh?
List-Post: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 26 May 2009 20:58:46 -0700
From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, May 26, 2009 8:47 PM
To: [email protected]; [email protected];
[email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected];
[email protected]
Subject: Fwd: Need a Laugh?
-----Original Message-----
From: Louie C. <[email protected]>
To: Ann Graham <[email protected]>; Bill Tushar <[email protected]>; Bob Bob
McNeil <[email protected]>; Daniel Flanagan <[email protected]>; David Gay
Berntsen <[email protected]>; Ellen <[email protected]>; Eric Hameister
<[email protected]>; Erv <[email protected]>; James Provost
<[email protected]>; Kirby <[email protected]>; Linda & Suzi Costanza
<[email protected]>; Lloyd Patterson <[email protected]>; Margaret
Delaney <[email protected]>; Mary Deluca <[email protected]>; Mike
Wibel <[email protected]>; Roger & Nancy Day <[email protected]>; Simon Lopez
<[email protected]>; Stan <[email protected]>; Steve Day
<[email protected]>; Tom <[email protected]>; Trudy Boyd
<[email protected]>; Wayne Rollins <[email protected]>
Sent: Sun, 24 May 2009 9:40 pm
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Need a Laugh?
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Sylvia Karalius <[email protected]>
To: Louie Costanza C. <[email protected]>; [email protected];
[email protected]
Sent: Sunday, May 24, 2009 8:31:48 PM
Subject: Fwd: Need a Laugh?
Begin forwarded message:
From: "JIM AND JANE HURT" <[email protected]>
List-Post: [email protected]
Date: May 23, 2009 2:26:54 PM PDT
To: "Sylvia Karalius" <[email protected]>, "richard k. backus"
<[email protected]>, "Chuck Okerstrom"
<[email protected]>, "Bob Penno" <[email protected]>, "faythe
captain" <[email protected]>, "Margaret Peden"
<[email protected]>, "Martha Webb" <[email protected]: Fw:
Need a Laugh?
----- Original Message -----
From: Tami Coffey
To: JIM AND JANE HURT
Cc: [email protected] ; Debby Jones ; Steve Goodman / SAGE
Sent: Saturday, May 23, 2009 10:14 AM
Subject: Fw: Need a Laugh?
----- Original Message -----
From: [email protected]
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Sent: Saturday, May 23, 2009 9:38 AM
Subject: Need a Laugh?
Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school
diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which
tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the
problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe
sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some
actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and
the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny.
(I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last...
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on
something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.12.32/2117 - Release Date: 05/15/09
17:55:00
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