I just had to send you this one.  It carries my own feelings, but
sharpens the focus exponentially, and I left the gang at halftime.
If you're not a football fan, skip to the startling, invaluable, final three
paragraphs.  Hope fans in the area weren't too zonked to see it.
Ed

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Dave Zirin" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Monday, February 05, 2007 2:05 PM
Subject: [edgeofsports] The Super Bowl: When Hawks Cry


The Super Bowl: When Hawks Cry
by Dave Zirin

Last night's Super Bowl was a Roman Vomitorium of odious spew. This
wasn't the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was the dreary, the vile,
and the insipid made only palatable by the thought of Mike Ditka in a
dark bar drinking whiskey shots, chased with the salty discharge
humans call tears.

The game itself, even more than most Super Bowls, ill-served a
thrilling NFL season. Despite an electric Devin Hester 92 yard kick
off return to open the came, the game quickly devolved into sloppy
boredom as the ball and steady rain combined to create something
closer to the Poseidon Adventure than a football game.

Color Commentator Phil Simms told us early on that the "weather
wouldn't be a factor." Not since we were told the "insurgency is in
its last throes" has my dear, innocent television emitted such idiocy.
At the NFL's recommendation--perhaps on advice from the geniuses at
Halliburton?--the field was left uncovered all day. As a result, there
were eight turnovers in the game, with five first half fumbles. Even
worse, despite CBS's investment in 47 High Definition cameras, the
lenses were continuously fogged. It was like Cujo was
attacking the screen, trying to slobber all over my pretzels.

Yes, the game was close, but when the graphic came on screen that the
Colts had 20 first downs to the Bears' four, it only confirmed my
impression of what was really happening: a dingy mismatch.

As often occurs in Super Bowls, the Bears got desperate in the second
half, which meant their hapless quarterback, Rex Grossman, started
winging his famous dying quails all over the field. He threw so many
of these lame ducks, he's lucky Dick Cheney didn't emerge from the
stands to shoot him in the face. At that point, there wasn't a bookie
in Reno who would have let you bet that Rex would throw a disastrous
game changing interception, which is exactly what happened when Kelvin
Hayden with 11:44 left in the game, returned one for a score.

If the game was a bust, the equivalent of Titanic if it had starred
Jim Nabors (Manning) and Tara Reid (Grossman), the halftime show was
for me a let down of epic proportions. I love Prince. Repeat: Love
Prince. I went to college in the Twin Cities, saw His Purple Highness
live, and knew women who went to college in the area just because they
thought they might meet him.

Perhaps I had unrealistic expectations that Prince would do Janet
Jackson one better, and make her flashing of the infamous nipple look
like a Pax TV special. But Prince has in recent years become a
Jehovah's Witness, denounced profanity and begun to carry himself in a
way that makes Tony Dungy look like Marilyn Manson. So I didn't expect
the profane Prince of "Head", "Get Off," or the sly pansexual genius
of "If I was Your Girlfriend". BUT Prince, in his 2004 album
Musicology, has a brilliant song about anti-Arab racism, called
"Cinnamon Girl." So I thought we might get something with some kind of
political content. My hopes were too high. But to call his
performance, as ESPN.com did, "Badass: start to finish" makes me
wonder how far the badass bar has been lowered. Yes he looked great
with that purple guitar, but he played a cover of "Proud Mary." Dang,
I would have settled for "Little Red (Freakin') Corvette"!

America may have swooned for The Kid, but more than a few hearts were
broken along the banks of Lake Minnetonka.

If Prince was a letdown, the commercials - always a highlight - were
insipid. Rather than catalog the collectively banal, nihilistic,
K-Federocity of it all, I want to focus on one: the Snickers ad where
two men accidentally kiss and then proceed to tear out their own chest
hair in an effort to recover their "manliness." This stood out as the
most tired, homophobic exercise I've seen on television since Rick
Santorum explained to America how gay relationships could be likened
to "man on dog" love. (For the record, I would hate to die and be
reincarnated as the Santorum family pooch.) It was the nadir in
corporate America's yearly over-hyped orgy of wasted talent.

The night was turning like mayonnaise left on the radiator, until the
commercial break at the start of the fourth quarter. In the middle of
this river of waste, was a moment--a kernel of joy--that made the 39
hours I spent in front of my television worth the while.

Appearing on screen was a very regular looking guy with the tag line,

"Jonathan Powers, Iraq War Vet." He said, "When it comes to Iraq,
America's divided." My hackles immediately were raised. It's the Super
Bowl and I was convinced that I was about to be told that we all
needed to give Bush a Chance.

But then Mr. Powers faded off the screen, replaced by another vet
named Brian Van Ripe who said. "On one hand, you've got two thirds of
the American people..." Then another vet, Robin Eckstein saying "A
bipartisan majority in congress, the Iraq Study Group,..." then
another, Joshua Lansdale: "And veterans like us all opposed to the
escalation." Then another named Robert Loria, an amputee, saying, "On
the other hand, there's George Bush, who supports escalation. If you
support escalation, you don't support the troops." Finally a last vet.
Andrew Horne, saying "Join the troops. Stop the escalation." (See this
starkly powerful ad at votevets.org)

It seems that this ad was regional, in the DC/Virginia/Maryland area,
and not national. In other words far more people were exposed to Kevin
Federline than this collection of brave men and women. But this one
spot had more genuine drama and humanity than the other 38 hours and
59 minutes of treacle combined. My house of rowdy revelers was struck
silent. Announcers speak of football players like they are soldiers in
some kind of war. It was bracing and even beautiful to see the day's
collective bombast humbled by a calm exhalation of reality.

Dave Zirin is the author of the forthcoming books: "The Muhammad Ali
Handbook" (MQ Publications) and "Welcome to the Terrordome: The Pain,
Politics and Promise of Sports" (Haymarket). You can receive his
column Edge of Sports, every week by e-mailing
[EMAIL PROTECTED] __Contact him at
[EMAIL PROTECTED]

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