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South's legendary Lowe Gallery presents world's greatest
glass artist - Dale Chihuly -  in largest show ever -
January 11, 2002 thru February 23, 2002
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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

============= Now There's No Reason not to Try =========== 

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INTRODUCTION

Hello Happy People. Good Day.

Wisdom begins in wonder.
-- Socrates --

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QUICK JOKE

Think.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?

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CARTOON TIME

TURBANATOR

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

NEVER Get a speeding ticket again... 
Beat the tricks that beat you! 
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RULES FOR WORK

1.  Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until
 4:00 and then bring it to me.  The challenge of a deadline
 is refreshing.

2.  If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every
 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even
 better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

3.  Always leave without telling anyone where you're going.
 It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where
 you are.

4.  If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies,
 don't open the door for me.  I need to learn how to
 function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is
 good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all
 use of my limbs.

5.  If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me
 which is priority. I am psychic.

6.  Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and
 really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no
 life beyond work.

7.  If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that
 gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8.  If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my
 name to be popular in conversations.  I was born to be
 whipped.

9.  If you have special instructions for a job, don't
 write them down. In fact, save them until the job is
 almost done.  No use confusing me with useful
 information.

10.  Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have
 no right to know anything.  In the corporate food chain,
 I am plankton.  When you refer to them later, my shrewd
 deductions will identify them.

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

Is he going to call? Am I going to get that killer promotion?
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MISSING MONEY

A couple are celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary
-they go down to their old school. There, in a corner, they
 hold hands as they find their old desk where he had carved,
 "I love you, Sally." On the way home, a bag of money falls
 out of an armored car in front of them. She picks it up and
 counts 50 thousand dollars. 

The husband says, "We've got to give it back." 

She says, "Finders keepers." And when they get home she
 hides it in the attic. 

The next day, two FBI men show up at their home. They ask,
 "Pardon me, did any one in this house find any money that
 fell out of an armored car yesterday?" 

She says, "No." 

The husband says, "My wife is lying, she took the money and
 hid it in the attic." 

She says, "Don't believe him, he's a bit senile." So they
 sit the man down and begin to question him. One FBI guy
 says, "Tell us the story from the beginning." 

The old man says, "Well, my wife and I were on our way home
 from school..." 

The FBI guy looks at his partner and says, ....... "Let's
 get out of here."

-Macky Coutinho from Dubai-U.A.E - Thank You!

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

The Victory Bracelet!

These are aluminum bracelets in patriotic red, silver and
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The bracelets fit everyone. 

For every bracelet your customers order, 
we include a second FREE bracelet, 
plus a FREE pewter lapel pin with the US flag 
clutched in the talons of the American Bald Eagle, 
PLUS (and I love this one) we will send a matching bracelet 
to a service man or woman serving in the military overseas, 
absolutely free. 

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DONKEY RAFFLE

A farmer's donkey died, and needing one for many of his farm
 chores, he called a donkey breeder a couple of counties
 away. The breeder had a donkey for sale for $100, so it was
 agreed that the farmer would send in his money, and the
 breeder would have the donkey trucked to the farmer. 

Sadly, when the truck arrived a week later, the donkey had
 died. The farmer called the breeder and said," Hey, the
 donkey arrived dead". 

The breeder said, "That's terrible. What'll we do?" 
The farmer said, "Well, you can send me another donkey." 
The breeder said, "Well, I don't have any more now." 
The farmer said, "Well, you can send me my money back." 
The breeder said," That'll be hard, cause I already spent
 it." 
So the farmer said, "That's OK, I'll just raffle off the
 donkey." 
The breeder says, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey." 
Farmer says, "Don't worry, I'll handle it." 
A couple of weeks pass, and the breeder's wondering what
 happened. He calls the farmer to ask him how the raffle
 went, and the farmer says, "Well, it went OK. I sold 500
 tickets at $2.00 apiece." 
Stunned, the breeder says, "Wow, I'll bet people were mad
 when they discovered the donkey was dead!" 
Said the farmer, "Well, only the guy who won, so I gave
 him his $2.00 back!"

-Charles LaBarre from Woodstock, NY - Thank You!

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

INVESTIGATE YOUR DATE, friends, neighbors, spouse, boss,
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We claim no copyrights to the material in our mailing lists,
if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you!

Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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