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====> LABLaughsClean
=====> http://www.LABLaughs.com
======> Another F-R-E-E mailing from LABLaughs.com

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

ATTENTION CHOCO-MANIACS(tm) & CARBO-CRAVERS(tm)

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internationally FAMOUS PSYCHOLOGISTS, reveals five key
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INTRODUCTION

Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new
things. The saddest summary of life has three parts..
what to do,when to do and why to do ?.

--Albert Einstein

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QUICK JOKE

"Where did you receive your training?"
"Yale."
"Good, and what's your name?"
"Yim Yohnson."

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CARTOON TIME

AWSOME BABIES

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

WHAT IS FUNNY ABOUT BEING OVERWEIGHT?
 
You will lose weight with us or you pay nothing!
HealthTech carries the most effective products at
the lowest prices anywhere, we guarantee it!
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EQUAL OPPORTUNITY

A business was looking for office help. They put a sign in
 the window, stating the following:

<<<<<
HELP WANTED
Must be able to type, have computer skills, and be
bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer. 
>>>>>

A dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went
 inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail,
 then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined a
 bit.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager.
 The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to
 say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he
 led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on a
 chair and stared at the manager. 

The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have
 to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the
 typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He
 took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave
 it to him, then jumped back up on the chair. 

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign
 also says you have to be good with a computer." The dog
 jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog
 proceeded to enter and execute a perfect spreadsheet
 that worked flawlessly the first time.

By this time, the manager was totally dumb-founded! He
 looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very
 intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities.
 However, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went over to a copy of the sign and
 put his paw on the sentence about being an Equal
 Opportunity Employer.

The manager said "Yes, but the sign also says that you have
 to be bilingual." The dog looked at that manager calmly and
 said, "Meow."

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

The Victory Bracelet!

These are aluminum bracelets in patriotic red, silver and
 blue, emblazoned with 2 American Flags, and the phrase 
"We Stand United." 
The bracelets fit everyone. 

For every bracelet your customers order, 
we include a second FREE bracelet, 
plus a FREE pewter lapel pin with the US flag 
clutched in the talons of the American Bald Eagle, 
PLUS (and I love this one) we will send a matching bracelet 
to a service man or woman serving in the military overseas, 
absolutely free. 

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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...AND IT MEANS

Applicant Speak: what they say and what they mean by it

I know how to deal with stressful situations:
      I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of
      cigarette and coffee breaks.
I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication &
organizational skills:
      I talk too much and like to tell other people what to
      do.
I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization:
      I've used Microsoft Office.
My pertinent work experience includes:
     I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
I take pride in my work:
     I blame others for my mistakes.
I'm balanced and centered:
     I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the
     lunchroom.
I have a sense of humor:
     I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.
I'm willing to relocate:
     As I leave San Quentin, anywhere's better.
I'm extremely professional:
     I carry a Day-Timer.
My background and skills match your requirements:
     You're probably looking for someone more experienced.
I am adaptable:
     I've changed jobs a lot.
I am on the go:
     I'm never at my desk.
I'm highly motivated to succeed:
     The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.
I have formal training:
     I'm a college dropout.
I interact well with co-workers:
     I've been accused of sexual harassment.
Thank you for your time and consideration:
     Wait! Don't throw me away!

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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CHOOSE THE BEST SUGGESTION

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer,
 a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the
 car just stops by the side of the road, and the three
 engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the
 electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault
 might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing
 much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming
 emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about
 anything, comes up with a suggestion, 'Why don't we close
 all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows
 again, and maybe it'll work !?'

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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

FREE Vitamins 
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<><><><><><><><> 'PLEASE VISIT OUR SPONSOR' <><><><><><><><>

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We claim no copyrights to the material in our mailing lists,
if you do Forward it then please leave it intact. If you
wish to reproduce material, then permission is granted, a
link and credit would be nice but is in no way required.

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Please feel free to send us any feedback or comments about
this, or any other LABLaughs Service. We aim to please. Just
send mailto: [EMAIL PROTECTED] and we'll try to please you!

Don't forget to visit our site at http://www.LABLaughs.com

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